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[SLOW RHYTHMIC MUSIC]
2
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[WHISTLING]
3
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♪ Oh, yes ♪
4
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[GLASS SHATTERS]
5
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♪ I walk in ♪
6
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♪ And you feel mesmerized ♪
7
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♪ I come close ♪
8
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[GRUNTS]
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♪ And you feel hypnotized ♪
10
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♪ Now ♪
11
00:01:04,273 --> 00:01:05,107
Heads up!
12
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- Good defense, good defense!
- ♪ Ain't no sleight of hand ♪
13
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♪ It's the work of
A bad-time voodoo man ♪
14
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[CLATTERING]
15
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- ♪ So don't try and break this spell ♪
- Hm!
16
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♪ You listen up and listen well ♪
17
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- ♪ With the power of suggestion ♪
- ♪ Power ♪
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- ♪ Now it's strange but it's true ♪
- [GLASS RUSTLING]
19
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♪ What I put on you ♪
20
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♪ I got the power of suggestion ♪
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♪ Power ♪
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♪ Makes you do all the things ♪
23
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- [GLASS SHATTERING]
- ♪ That you never would do ♪
24
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♪ No, no ♪
25
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[CHUCKLES]
26
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♪ Just let your spirit run wild ♪
27
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[GLASS SHATTERING]
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[GRUNTS]
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♪ Now it's mind over matter ♪
30
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♪ You know what I'm after ♪
31
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- ♪ Just let your spirit run wild ♪
- We're going downtown.
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♪ With the power of suggestion ♪
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♪ Power ♪
34
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[DOG BARKS]
35
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MAN: Shut the hell up,
you stupid mutt!
36
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What do you want?
37
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HDS, sir. And how are you
this afternoon?
38
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Alrighty then.
39
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I have a package for you.
40
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[PACKAGE CLINKS]
41
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Sounds broken.
42
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Most likely, sir. I'll bet
it was something nice, though.
43
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Now, this is an insurance form.
44
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If you'll just sign here,
45
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here, and here, initial here,
46
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and print your name here,
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we'll get the rest of the forms out to
you as soon as we can.
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[TV DRONES ON IN OTHER ROOM]
49
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That's a lovely dog you have there, sir.
50
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You mind if I pet him?
51
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I don't give a rat's ass.
52
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Alrighty then.
53
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Oh, you boo!
54
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Who's a boo-boo doo-doo!
55
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- Joo-boo baby doo-boo.
- [DOG BARKS]
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[MAN COOING]
57
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Oh, brother.
58
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That's fine, sir.
I can finish the rest.
59
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You just have yourself
a good day.
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Take care, now.
Bye-bye, then.
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[UPBEAT MUSIC]
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Excuse me, HDS!
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HDS coming through!
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Got a package, people!
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[BOX CLATTERS]
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[SINGING, HUMMING]
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Get away from the door.
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What's the matter with you?
I said git!
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[SQUEAKS]
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Son of a bitch!
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That was a close one,
ladies and gentlemen.
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Unfortunately,
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in every contest,
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there must be a loser.
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Loo-hoo-se-her!
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[DOG BARKS]
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Hungry, fella?
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[WHIMPERS]
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There ya go.
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[ENGINE STUTTERS]
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No problem. It gets flooded.
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We'll just wait a few seconds.
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- [MAN YELLS]
- [DOG BARKS]
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Or we can try it now.
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[YELLS]
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Come on!
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[SHOUTING INDISTINCTLY]
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[BARKING]
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Warning. Assholes are closer
than they appear!
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- [MAN YELLING]
- [GROANS]
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I'll kill you!
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Uh, you wanna give me a push
while you're back there, pal?
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[YELLS]
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Alrighty then.
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- [ENGINE STARTS]
- [LAUGHS]
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It's alive! It's alive!
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[TIRES SCREECH]
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[DOG BARKING]
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[GROANS]
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[IMITATES BARKING]
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[TIRES SCREECHING]
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[UPBEAT MUSIC CONTINUES]
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[BARKS]
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[IMITATES BARKING]
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WOMAN: Oh, my little baby.
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Come here!
107
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- You missed Mommy, didn't you?
- [ROMANTIC MUSIC]
108
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Oh, yes, you did.
Did Daddy hurt you?
109
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I won't let him.
No, I won't.
110
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He can keep that big TV,
but he's not gonna
111
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hurt my baby.
No, he's not, no.
112
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[ROMANTIC MUSIC]
113
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Thank you, Mr. Ventura.
114
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How can I ever repay you?
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Well, the reward would be good.
116
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There is some damage to my car.
117
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It's a high-performance machine,
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so I had to fill it with premium--
119
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Would you like for me to take
your pants off instead?
120
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Gee, let me think.
121
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Um... sure.
122
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[ZIPPER OPENS]
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[SURF ROCK MUSIC]
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Whoa, geez!
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Ho-ho.
126
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For the love of Pete!
127
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People are real
friendly around here.
128
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Whoa!
129
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[SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC]
130
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[DOLPHIN CLICKS]
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[INTENSE MUSIC]
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[INTENSE MUSIC CONTINUES]
133
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[UPBEAT MUSIC]
134
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[TIRES SCREECHING]
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[INDISTINCT CHATTERING ON TV]
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MAN [ON TV]: And now,
let's meet our contestants.
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First, meet our challenger.
138
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She's a housewife from...
139
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MAN: Ventura.
140
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Yes, Satan?
141
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Oh, I'm sorry, sir.
142
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You sounded like someone else.
143
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Never mind the wisecracks, Ventura.
144
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[COUGHING]
145
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You owe me rent.
146
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Mr. Shickadance, I told you,
147
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you're my first priority.
148
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I'm on a very big case right now.
149
00:09:00,915 --> 00:09:01,833
Check this out.
150
00:09:01,916 --> 00:09:03,251
Look at that,
151
00:09:03,334 --> 00:09:05,170
that's a true albino pigeon.
152
00:09:05,253 --> 00:09:06,254
Some rich guy lost it.
153
00:09:06,337 --> 00:09:08,757
He's offering a $25,000 reward.
154
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As soon as I find this bird, you're paid.
155
00:09:12,343 --> 00:09:14,596
I heard animals in there, Ventura.
156
00:09:14,679 --> 00:09:17,849
I heard 'em again this
morning, scratchin' around.
157
00:09:17,932 --> 00:09:19,851
I never bring my work
home with me, sir.
158
00:09:20,226 --> 00:09:24,022
Oh, yeah?
What's all this pet food for?
159
00:09:25,523 --> 00:09:26,399
Fiber.
160
00:09:28,401 --> 00:09:31,029
Want to take a look inside?
Come on.
161
00:09:31,112 --> 00:09:32,238
Come on!
162
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[KEYS JANGLE LOUDLY]
163
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Go ahead. Snoop around.
164
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[SNIFFS]
165
00:09:59,724 --> 00:10:02,310
ACE:
Well? Are you satisfied?
166
00:10:02,393 --> 00:10:03,311
[SHICKADANCE SNIFFS]
167
00:10:05,563 --> 00:10:08,858
Just don't let me catch you
with an animal in here,
168
00:10:08,942 --> 00:10:10,068
that's all.
169
00:10:10,151 --> 00:10:12,403
Alright! Take care now!
170
00:10:12,487 --> 00:10:13,488
Bye-bye, then.
171
00:10:15,824 --> 00:10:17,325
Loser.
172
00:10:22,205 --> 00:10:23,540
[WHISTLES LOUDLY]
173
00:10:23,623 --> 00:10:26,376
- [TRIUMPHANT MUSIC]
- [ANIMAL NOISES]
174
00:10:27,961 --> 00:10:29,129
[CLICKING]
175
00:10:29,212 --> 00:10:31,047
- [BIRDS SQUAWKING]
- [DOGS BARKING]
176
00:10:35,135 --> 00:10:37,011
[CHITTERING]
177
00:10:41,141 --> 00:10:42,142
[CAT MEOWS]
178
00:10:44,561 --> 00:10:46,521
ACE: Come to me, jungle friends.
179
00:10:50,525 --> 00:10:52,402
[VOCALIZING GUTTURALLY]
180
00:11:01,077 --> 00:11:04,122
Roger, let me ask you
one question.
181
00:11:04,205 --> 00:11:07,000
How in the hell do you lose
a 500-pound fish?
182
00:11:08,751 --> 00:11:09,878
What?
183
00:11:09,961 --> 00:11:11,963
I'm sorry, sir.
I was just going to say
184
00:11:12,046 --> 00:11:15,008
that it's not a fish.
It's a mammal.
185
00:11:15,091 --> 00:11:17,010
Thank you,
Miss Jacques Cousteau.
186
00:11:17,093 --> 00:11:19,721
Don, now she didn't mean
anything by that.
187
00:11:19,804 --> 00:11:23,057
I don't give a good
goddamn about that fish.
188
00:11:23,141 --> 00:11:26,060
Filet it and fast-food it
if you want to.
189
00:11:26,144 --> 00:11:29,272
All I give a damn about's
winning the Super Bowl.
190
00:11:29,606 --> 00:11:31,566
My athletes have
got to have their heads
191
00:11:31,649 --> 00:11:33,151
in the right place.
192
00:11:33,234 --> 00:11:37,906
Shit, Roger. You've been
in this business a long time.
193
00:11:37,989 --> 00:11:40,825
You know how superstitious
these players are.
194
00:11:41,659 --> 00:11:44,370
I've got a quarterback that puts
his socks on backwards--
195
00:11:44,454 --> 00:11:45,830
Has since high school.
196
00:11:45,914 --> 00:11:48,208
I've got a linebacker
that has not washed
197
00:11:48,291 --> 00:11:50,126
his jockey strap in two years
198
00:11:50,210 --> 00:11:52,837
because he thinks flies are lucky.
199
00:11:53,338 --> 00:11:56,841
Now, I want that fish on
that field Super Bowl Sunday.
200
00:11:57,258 --> 00:11:58,635
Find the fish,
201
00:11:58,718 --> 00:12:00,428
or find new jobs!
202
00:12:00,970 --> 00:12:03,765
Why did it have to happen now,
two weeks before the Super Bowl?
203
00:12:03,848 --> 00:12:05,016
I'll tell you who did it,
204
00:12:05,099 --> 00:12:06,935
it's those goddamn
animal rights activists!
205
00:12:07,018 --> 00:12:08,937
Always out there
with their goddamn signs.
206
00:12:09,020 --> 00:12:10,605
"Animals were born free."
207
00:12:10,688 --> 00:12:12,190
- "Stop torturing Snowflake."
- [PHONE RINGING]
208
00:12:12,273 --> 00:12:14,234
That damn fish lives
better than they do.
209
00:12:14,317 --> 00:12:16,945
Roger, the police are checking
into the animal rights groups.
210
00:12:17,028 --> 00:12:19,072
Martha, have the police called
back about the dolphin yet?
211
00:12:19,489 --> 00:12:21,324
No, but I wanted to tell you,
212
00:12:21,407 --> 00:12:24,619
when I lost my Cuddles,
I hired a pet detective.
213
00:12:25,411 --> 00:12:26,204
A what?
214
00:12:26,746 --> 00:12:28,957
A pet detective.
215
00:12:30,416 --> 00:12:33,753
Thanks, Martha, but we better
leave this to professionals.
216
00:12:33,836 --> 00:12:35,838
Well, actually,
he was quite good.
217
00:12:35,922 --> 00:12:38,174
Pet detection is a very involved,
218
00:12:38,258 --> 00:12:40,635
highly scientific process.
219
00:12:40,718 --> 00:12:43,680
[SOFT MUSIC]
220
00:12:43,763 --> 00:12:45,640
[IMITATES COOING]
221
00:12:47,892 --> 00:12:52,355
[YELLING]
222
00:12:54,983 --> 00:12:56,067
[BEEPER SOUNDING]
223
00:12:56,150 --> 00:12:58,027
[GROANS]
224
00:13:07,287 --> 00:13:09,163
[PEOPLE CHATTERING INDISTINCTLY]
225
00:13:15,712 --> 00:13:17,588
[UPBEAT MUSIC]
226
00:13:24,053 --> 00:13:25,930
[TIRES SCREECHING]
227
00:13:35,440 --> 00:13:37,900
Like a glove.
228
00:13:41,487 --> 00:13:42,447
[DOOR THUDS]
229
00:13:47,076 --> 00:13:49,329
Uh, Mr. Ventura here to see you.
230
00:13:50,204 --> 00:13:51,205
Thanks, Martha.
231
00:13:51,289 --> 00:13:53,333
Hi. I'm Melissa Robinson.
232
00:13:53,416 --> 00:13:54,667
Pleasure to meet you.
233
00:13:54,751 --> 00:13:57,128
- [DOOR SHUTS]
- Did you have any trouble getting in?
234
00:13:57,211 --> 00:13:59,380
No. The guy with the rubber glove
235
00:13:59,464 --> 00:14:01,174
was surprisingly gentle.
236
00:14:01,674 --> 00:14:03,509
Yeah, security's tight
Super Bowl week.
237
00:14:03,593 --> 00:14:05,636
- Ah!
- Why don't you have a seat?
238
00:14:05,720 --> 00:14:07,472
I'll get right to the point, Mr. Ventura.
239
00:14:07,555 --> 00:14:08,514
[TAPE CLATTERS]
240
00:14:08,598 --> 00:14:11,267
Our mascot was stolen
from his tank last night.
241
00:14:11,351 --> 00:14:13,436
Are you familiar with Snowflake?
242
00:14:13,519 --> 00:14:14,979
Negative.
243
00:14:15,063 --> 00:14:16,981
We got Snowflake
from the Miami Seaquarium.
244
00:14:17,065 --> 00:14:18,816
He's a rare bottlenose dolphin.
245
00:14:18,900 --> 00:14:20,026
This is one of the new tricks
246
00:14:20,109 --> 00:14:21,486
he was going to do
for the halftime show.
247
00:14:21,569 --> 00:14:22,862
MAN [ON TV]: Come on, Snowflake, let's go!
248
00:14:22,945 --> 00:14:23,696
[SNOWFLAKE CLICKING]
249
00:14:23,780 --> 00:14:26,991
Blue 42. Blue 42. Hut. Hut!
250
00:14:27,075 --> 00:14:28,242
[WATER SPLASHING]
251
00:14:30,620 --> 00:14:31,913
All right!
252
00:14:37,126 --> 00:14:38,586
- Come on, Snowflake! Let's go!
- [ACE CRUNCHING]
253
00:14:43,383 --> 00:14:45,218
[CLAPPING] Good boy!
254
00:14:45,301 --> 00:14:49,472
[CRUNCHING, SLURPING]
255
00:14:53,643 --> 00:14:54,977
Would you like an ashtray?
256
00:14:55,686 --> 00:14:56,687
Mm-mm.
257
00:14:56,771 --> 00:14:57,939
I don't smoke.
258
00:14:58,022 --> 00:15:00,441
It's a disgusting habit.
259
00:15:00,525 --> 00:15:02,735
- MAN: Say hut.
- [MEN GROAN]
260
00:15:06,197 --> 00:15:07,657
MELISSA:
The police were here this morning.
261
00:15:07,740 --> 00:15:09,325
Apparently,
the kidnappers came in
262
00:15:09,409 --> 00:15:11,786
through the back gate.
They said some kind of a...
263
00:15:11,869 --> 00:15:14,497
Four-wheel drive van
loaded from the rear.
264
00:15:14,956 --> 00:15:15,957
[SIGHS]
265
00:15:16,040 --> 00:15:17,583
Hey, Roger.
How you holding up?
266
00:15:18,000 --> 00:15:19,752
ROGER: Well,
if I look like I'm walkin' funny,
267
00:15:19,836 --> 00:15:22,171
it's because I got two dozen
reporters up my ass.
268
00:15:22,255 --> 00:15:25,049
They been asking me about
Snowflake all morning.
269
00:15:28,261 --> 00:15:29,345
Who's he?
270
00:15:29,429 --> 00:15:30,638
Roger Podacter,
271
00:15:30,721 --> 00:15:32,265
meet Ace Ventura.
272
00:15:32,348 --> 00:15:33,975
He's our pet detective.
273
00:15:34,976 --> 00:15:36,561
Hi. Nice to meet you.
274
00:15:36,644 --> 00:15:39,439
Came very highly
recommended by Martha Metz.
275
00:15:39,522 --> 00:15:41,023
Martha Metz?
276
00:15:42,024 --> 00:15:43,609
Oh, yeah. The bitch.
277
00:15:44,318 --> 00:15:45,278
What?
278
00:15:45,361 --> 00:15:47,864
Pekinese. Hyperactive.
Lost in Highland Park area.
279
00:15:47,947 --> 00:15:49,699
She was half dead
when I found her.
280
00:15:49,782 --> 00:15:50,867
Is that the tank?
281
00:15:52,034 --> 00:15:53,327
Excuse me.
282
00:15:53,411 --> 00:15:56,956
- [FUNK MUSIC]
- [WHISTLE BLOWING]
283
00:15:58,583 --> 00:15:59,625
[MEN GROAN]
284
00:16:03,296 --> 00:16:04,130
Cops drain it?
285
00:16:04,213 --> 00:16:05,673
Yes. This morning.
286
00:16:07,758 --> 00:16:09,844
If I'm not back in five minutes,
287
00:16:09,927 --> 00:16:11,387
just wait longer.
288
00:16:14,682 --> 00:16:15,975
[FEET THUD, ECHOING]
289
00:16:17,977 --> 00:16:20,897
[FOOTSTEPS THUDDING]
290
00:16:25,818 --> 00:16:27,236
[IMITATES BEEPING]
291
00:16:27,320 --> 00:16:30,156
[IMITATING WILLIAM SHATNER]
Captain's log. Stardate 23.9.
292
00:16:30,239 --> 00:16:32,658
Rounded off to
the nearest decimal point.
293
00:16:32,742 --> 00:16:33,951
We've...
294
00:16:34,035 --> 00:16:36,746
traveled back in time
to save an ancient species
295
00:16:36,829 --> 00:16:38,206
from total annihilation.
296
00:16:38,289 --> 00:16:40,875
So far, no signs of aquatic life,
297
00:16:40,958 --> 00:16:43,753
but I'm going to find it.
298
00:16:43,836 --> 00:16:46,255
If I have to tear this universe
another black hole,
299
00:16:46,339 --> 00:16:47,340
I'm going to find it.
300
00:16:47,423 --> 00:16:48,841
I've...
301
00:16:48,925 --> 00:16:50,927
got to, mister!
302
00:16:51,010 --> 00:16:52,386
[IMITATES BEEPING]
303
00:17:00,144 --> 00:17:02,605
[PEOPLE CHATTERING INDISTINCTLY]
304
00:17:02,688 --> 00:17:04,106
Oh, great!
305
00:17:05,233 --> 00:17:06,817
I'll see if I can head them off.
306
00:17:06,901 --> 00:17:08,819
Ace, get out of the tank.
307
00:17:08,903 --> 00:17:10,821
[IMITATING SCOTTY]
I just can't do it, Captain.
308
00:17:10,905 --> 00:17:12,907
I don't have the power!
309
00:17:14,408 --> 00:17:15,493
WOMAN: Oh, Roger!
310
00:17:15,576 --> 00:17:16,953
- People!
- [INDISTINCT CHATTER]
311
00:17:17,036 --> 00:17:19,205
I said get out of the tank now!
312
00:17:19,288 --> 00:17:20,748
[IMITATING DR. MCCOY]
For God sakes, Jim,
313
00:17:20,831 --> 00:17:23,000
I'm a doctor, not a pool man!
314
00:17:24,877 --> 00:17:28,089
Snowflake is not available right now.
315
00:17:28,172 --> 00:17:30,466
Not available? Roger,
we've been waiting all day.
316
00:17:30,550 --> 00:17:32,885
I gotta get a shot of his new trick
for the evening news.
317
00:17:32,969 --> 00:17:34,053
What, is he sick?
318
00:17:34,136 --> 00:17:36,013
[REPORTERS CLAMORING]
319
00:17:38,558 --> 00:17:40,434
[SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC]
320
00:17:50,861 --> 00:17:51,988
People, people.
321
00:17:52,071 --> 00:17:53,239
[INDISTINCT CLAMORING]
322
00:17:57,451 --> 00:17:58,578
Hm.
323
00:18:01,622 --> 00:18:03,374
Ah!
324
00:18:11,799 --> 00:18:13,426
[TIRES SCREECHING]
325
00:18:28,941 --> 00:18:30,651
OFFICER:
Lassie must be missing.
326
00:18:31,861 --> 00:18:33,821
Hey, uh, hey, Ventura.
327
00:18:33,904 --> 00:18:35,448
Ventura.
328
00:18:35,531 --> 00:18:37,199
Make any good collars lately?
329
00:18:37,283 --> 00:18:38,242
Or were they leashes?
330
00:18:38,326 --> 00:18:40,369
[ALL LAUGH]
331
00:18:41,996 --> 00:18:44,332
[IMITATES LAUGHTER]
332
00:18:44,415 --> 00:18:45,458
Uh-oh.
333
00:18:47,126 --> 00:18:48,586
- [THUD]
- MEN: Ew.
334
00:18:48,669 --> 00:18:51,672
- Homicide, Ventura.
- [LAUGHTER CONTINUES]
335
00:18:51,756 --> 00:18:53,424
Now, how you going
to solve that one?
336
00:18:53,507 --> 00:18:55,384
[ALL LAUGH]
337
00:18:57,303 --> 00:18:59,221
Good question, Aguado.
338
00:18:59,305 --> 00:19:01,098
First I'd establish a motive.
339
00:19:01,182 --> 00:19:04,185
In this case, the killer saw
the size of the bug's dick
340
00:19:04,268 --> 00:19:05,770
and became insanely jealous.
341
00:19:05,853 --> 00:19:08,773
[CROWD OOHS, LAUGHS]
342
00:19:08,856 --> 00:19:11,400
Then I'd lose 30 pounds
343
00:19:11,484 --> 00:19:13,194
porkin' his wife!
344
00:19:13,277 --> 00:19:15,071
- Oh, you--
- Come on!
345
00:19:15,154 --> 00:19:16,238
[GROANS]
346
00:19:16,322 --> 00:19:18,532
Now, kiss and make up.
347
00:19:19,367 --> 00:19:23,287
- [PHONES RINGING]
- [FOOTSTEPS APPROACHING]
348
00:19:23,954 --> 00:19:25,915
ACE: Excuse me. I'd like to
349
00:19:25,998 --> 00:19:28,125
ass you a few questions.
350
00:19:28,209 --> 00:19:29,752
Uh, this is not the time, Ace.
351
00:19:29,835 --> 00:19:31,170
If Einhorn come down here
352
00:19:31,253 --> 00:19:34,131
and see me talking to you
or your ass, I'm history.
353
00:19:35,174 --> 00:19:37,134
I think I can keep him under control,
354
00:19:37,218 --> 00:19:40,262
but you'll have to tell me who's
working the Snowflake case.
355
00:19:40,346 --> 00:19:43,808
Hey, I can't do nothin' for you on
that. My hands are totally tied.
356
00:19:43,891 --> 00:19:47,353
ACE: All right, that's it.
Now it's my turn.
357
00:19:47,436 --> 00:19:50,106
Five minutes alone.
That's all I need. Come on!
358
00:19:50,189 --> 00:19:52,400
Better look alive,
Einhorn's on her way down.
359
00:19:52,483 --> 00:19:54,777
ACE: Ooh, bum, bum, bum-bum!
360
00:19:54,860 --> 00:19:57,196
- Come on now, Ace, please, man, please.
- What's the matter, Emilio?
361
00:19:57,279 --> 00:19:59,115
Afraid I'll make a stink? Huh?
362
00:19:59,198 --> 00:20:00,408
- Come on!
- [SIGHS]
363
00:20:00,491 --> 00:20:02,660
Alright, Aguado's working
the case, alright?
364
00:20:02,743 --> 00:20:03,661
Aguado.
365
00:20:03,744 --> 00:20:04,662
Aguado?
366
00:20:05,246 --> 00:20:06,414
Good call.
367
00:20:06,497 --> 00:20:09,250
Look here, we're just
a little busy right now
368
00:20:09,333 --> 00:20:11,961
with murderers and burglaries
and drug dealers
369
00:20:12,044 --> 00:20:13,087
and things like that.
370
00:20:13,170 --> 00:20:16,424
A missing dolphin
isn't exactly a high priority.
371
00:20:16,507 --> 00:20:19,760
[GRUNTING]
372
00:20:19,844 --> 00:20:21,220
Oh, now you've pissed him off.
373
00:20:21,303 --> 00:20:22,930
[GRUNTING CONTINUES]
374
00:20:23,013 --> 00:20:24,640
Please give me a break, man.
375
00:20:24,724 --> 00:20:26,183
I can't hold him much longer!
376
00:20:26,267 --> 00:20:28,811
- My boss is coming, man!
- [GRUNTING CONTINUES]
377
00:20:28,894 --> 00:20:30,438
EMILIO: Okay, okay. Look.
378
00:20:30,521 --> 00:20:33,441
We ran a check with all the
local animal rights groups, alright?
379
00:20:33,524 --> 00:20:34,942
We checked out the taxidermists
380
00:20:35,025 --> 00:20:36,485
and ran a check
through a local DMV
381
00:20:36,569 --> 00:20:38,070
on all recent van rentals.
382
00:20:38,154 --> 00:20:41,323
So far, nothing, Nathan, nada, alright?
383
00:20:42,241 --> 00:20:43,743
Any unusual bets being made?
384
00:20:43,826 --> 00:20:45,953
Of course there's bets being made.
It's the Super Bowl.
385
00:20:46,036 --> 00:20:47,872
What'd you find out
about the tank?
386
00:20:47,955 --> 00:20:50,750
Nothing unusual, okay?
Some tire tracks, an escape route,
387
00:20:50,833 --> 00:20:52,501
and a guard didn't see anything.
388
00:20:52,585 --> 00:20:53,335
[LAMP SQUEAKS]
389
00:20:53,419 --> 00:20:55,296
- That's it?
- That's it. I swear.
390
00:20:55,379 --> 00:20:57,089
Now, would you please
get the hell out of here
391
00:20:57,173 --> 00:20:58,382
before I get in trouble?
392
00:20:59,216 --> 00:21:00,050
[LAMP SQUEAKS]
393
00:21:01,927 --> 00:21:04,305
ACE: Thank you for all
your cooperation.
394
00:21:04,388 --> 00:21:07,391
By the way,
do you have a mint?
395
00:21:07,475 --> 00:21:09,310
Perhaps some Binaca?
396
00:21:09,393 --> 00:21:10,311
[ELEVATOR DINGS]
397
00:21:10,394 --> 00:21:12,271
[ROMANTIC MUSIC]
398
00:21:18,486 --> 00:21:19,779
[ACE COUGHING]
399
00:21:19,862 --> 00:21:21,280
[COUGHS]
400
00:21:21,363 --> 00:21:24,909
[SINGING] ♪ Assholo mio ♪
401
00:21:24,992 --> 00:21:27,870
♪ O sodomia ♪
402
00:21:27,953 --> 00:21:29,413
♪ Le-- ♪
403
00:21:30,539 --> 00:21:31,999
Holy...
404
00:21:32,082 --> 00:21:33,834
Testicle Tuesday!
405
00:21:34,752 --> 00:21:37,296
What the hell is he doing here?
406
00:21:37,880 --> 00:21:39,799
I came to confess.
407
00:21:39,882 --> 00:21:42,843
I was the second gunman
on the grassy knoll.
408
00:21:43,761 --> 00:21:45,805
Spare me the routine, Ventura.
409
00:21:45,888 --> 00:21:48,307
I know you're working
the Snowflake case.
410
00:21:48,390 --> 00:21:52,228
May I suggest you yield
to the experts on this one?
411
00:21:52,603 --> 00:21:54,605
We'll find the porpoise.
412
00:21:55,606 --> 00:21:56,565
Whew!
413
00:21:57,691 --> 00:21:59,109
Now I feel better.
414
00:22:00,110 --> 00:22:02,196
Of course, that...
415
00:22:02,279 --> 00:22:03,697
might not do any good.
416
00:22:03,781 --> 00:22:05,407
You see, nobody's
missing a porpoise.
417
00:22:05,491 --> 00:22:07,535
It's a dolphin that's been taken.
418
00:22:07,618 --> 00:22:09,537
The common harbor porpoise
has an abrupt snout,
419
00:22:09,620 --> 00:22:11,497
pointed teeth,
and a triangular thoracic fin,
420
00:22:11,580 --> 00:22:14,708
while the bottlenose dolphin,
or tursiops truncatus,
421
00:22:14,792 --> 00:22:17,503
has an elongated beak,
round, cone-shaped teeth,
422
00:22:17,586 --> 00:22:19,380
and a serrated
dorsal appendage.
423
00:22:19,463 --> 00:22:22,550
But I'm sure
you already knew that.
424
00:22:22,633 --> 00:22:24,885
That's what turns me on about ya...
425
00:22:24,969 --> 00:22:26,470
your attention to detail.
426
00:22:27,513 --> 00:22:29,890
Listen, pet dick,
427
00:22:29,974 --> 00:22:33,310
how would you like me
to make your life a living hell?
428
00:22:34,144 --> 00:22:35,521
Well, I'm...
429
00:22:35,604 --> 00:22:37,898
not really ready
for a relationship, Lois.
430
00:22:37,982 --> 00:22:39,859
But thank you for asking.
431
00:22:44,238 --> 00:22:46,740
Hey, maybe I'll give you
a call some time.
432
00:22:46,824 --> 00:22:48,284
Your number still 911?
433
00:22:48,367 --> 00:22:50,494
Alrighty then.
434
00:22:51,704 --> 00:22:52,705
[SPITS]
435
00:22:53,414 --> 00:22:55,291
[ROCK MUSIC]
436
00:23:00,254 --> 00:23:02,131
[CROWD CHEERING]
437
00:23:04,341 --> 00:23:06,218
[GROWLS]
438
00:23:10,931 --> 00:23:12,057
[SHOUTS]
439
00:23:18,939 --> 00:23:20,774
[SINGER GROWLS]
440
00:23:26,030 --> 00:23:27,656
[SHOUTS]
441
00:23:29,533 --> 00:23:31,201
Excuse me? Is Greg here?
442
00:23:32,745 --> 00:23:33,871
Thank you.
443
00:23:39,043 --> 00:23:40,753
[SINGER GROWLS]
444
00:23:42,004 --> 00:23:43,088
[GRUNTS]
445
00:23:54,892 --> 00:23:56,560
MAN: What's the password?
446
00:23:56,644 --> 00:24:00,064
New England clam chowder.
447
00:24:00,147 --> 00:24:02,733
MAN: Is that the red or the white?
448
00:24:02,816 --> 00:24:05,402
Oh, I can never remember that.
449
00:24:06,737 --> 00:24:07,863
White?
450
00:24:07,947 --> 00:24:10,157
- [DOOR SLIDING]
- [WHISPERS] Yes.
451
00:24:11,909 --> 00:24:13,077
ACE: Hey, Woodstock.
452
00:24:13,160 --> 00:24:15,579
Hey, Saint Francis,
how's it going?
453
00:24:15,663 --> 00:24:17,414
Super and thank you for asking.
454
00:24:17,498 --> 00:24:19,375
I hope you're
having a lovely day.
455
00:24:19,458 --> 00:24:20,584
Do you?
456
00:24:20,668 --> 00:24:21,543
Don't I?
457
00:24:21,627 --> 00:24:23,003
[WHIRRING, BEEPING]
458
00:24:23,087 --> 00:24:25,005
So, what are you up to, mandinga?
459
00:24:25,089 --> 00:24:27,800
Just watching the fishies,
man-o-schevitz.
460
00:24:27,883 --> 00:24:29,009
You see those blips?
461
00:24:29,093 --> 00:24:31,387
That's a Norwegian whaling fleet.
462
00:24:31,887 --> 00:24:34,515
I'm sending them new
directional coordinates.
463
00:24:34,598 --> 00:24:35,683
[BLIPS CONTINUE]
464
00:24:35,766 --> 00:24:37,226
They'll find Jimmy Hoffa
465
00:24:37,309 --> 00:24:38,852
before they find
any humpback whales.
466
00:24:38,936 --> 00:24:41,271
ACE: Aha! Gravy.
467
00:24:41,355 --> 00:24:44,608
Can you still tap into the
aquatic supply stores in the area?
468
00:24:44,692 --> 00:24:46,318
Of course I can. Why?
469
00:24:46,402 --> 00:24:48,612
I want to trace
the sale of any equipment
470
00:24:48,696 --> 00:24:50,698
for transporting
or housing a dolphin
471
00:24:50,781 --> 00:24:52,032
within the last few months.
472
00:24:52,116 --> 00:24:55,035
C'mon, Ace, I thought you
had a challenge for me.
473
00:24:55,577 --> 00:24:57,663
All right, we got
marine winch, sling,
474
00:24:57,746 --> 00:25:01,000
feeder fish,
20,000-gallon tank...
475
00:25:01,083 --> 00:25:03,210
Wait a minute, wait a minute. Lookie here.
476
00:25:04,294 --> 00:25:07,464
Now that's a hell of a lot
of equipment for a civilian.
477
00:25:07,798 --> 00:25:09,550
Ronald Camp, the billionaire?
478
00:25:09,633 --> 00:25:12,469
Yeah, billionaire and rare fish collector.
479
00:25:12,553 --> 00:25:16,849
Re-e-e-e-e-eally?
480
00:25:16,932 --> 00:25:19,351
That, my friend,
is the face of the enemy,
481
00:25:19,435 --> 00:25:21,020
always trying to get
his greedy little hands
482
00:25:21,103 --> 00:25:23,147
on endangered species.
483
00:25:23,230 --> 00:25:24,189
ACE: Now, hold on.
484
00:25:24,273 --> 00:25:26,775
Ronald Camp is connected
with the Dolphins?
485
00:25:26,859 --> 00:25:28,610
Yeah, that sub-genius
gave him the land
486
00:25:28,694 --> 00:25:30,154
the new stadium's built on.
487
00:25:30,738 --> 00:25:33,240
And look at this.
He's throwing another
488
00:25:33,323 --> 00:25:35,576
"I'm the richest man
in the universe" party.
489
00:25:36,410 --> 00:25:37,411
Hm...
490
00:25:38,412 --> 00:25:41,582
Looks like it's time
for me to get myself a date.
491
00:25:41,665 --> 00:25:44,543
[CLASSICAL MUSIC PLAYING]
492
00:25:47,463 --> 00:25:49,715
I'm really going out
on a limb here, Ventura.
493
00:25:49,798 --> 00:25:52,634
Camp's social events
are strictly A-list.
494
00:25:52,718 --> 00:25:54,720
"Gee, Chuck,
the date started off good,
495
00:25:54,803 --> 00:25:57,347
"but just before we got to the party,
she seemed to tense up."
496
00:25:57,431 --> 00:25:58,307
[KNOCKING]
497
00:25:58,390 --> 00:26:00,434
I swear, if you do anything to
embarrass me in front of Camp--
498
00:26:00,517 --> 00:26:01,977
What? Like this?
499
00:26:02,061 --> 00:26:04,313
[MAKING CHOKING NOISES]
500
00:26:04,396 --> 00:26:06,648
[MAKING HIGH-PITCHED NOISES]
501
00:26:06,732 --> 00:26:08,150
- [FOOT THUDS]
- [GROANS] Ow!
502
00:26:09,026 --> 00:26:12,029
Hi, Captain Stubing.
How are Gopher and Doc?
503
00:26:13,197 --> 00:26:14,740
Permission to come aboard, sir.
504
00:26:21,872 --> 00:26:24,166
[CHATTERING INDISTINCTLY]
505
00:26:34,843 --> 00:26:37,262
I'm sorry, ladies. Melissa.
506
00:26:38,097 --> 00:26:39,556
Oh, hi, Ron.
507
00:26:39,640 --> 00:26:40,974
Glad you could make it.
508
00:26:41,517 --> 00:26:43,185
Thank you.
509
00:26:44,186 --> 00:26:45,437
You look wonderful.
510
00:26:45,521 --> 00:26:46,855
Aw, thanks.
511
00:26:47,648 --> 00:26:49,233
And who is he, a friend?
512
00:26:50,192 --> 00:26:53,028
Um, no, this is--this is my date.
513
00:26:53,403 --> 00:26:54,321
[CHUCKLES NERVOUSLY]
514
00:26:55,405 --> 00:26:56,990
He's a lawyer.
515
00:26:57,574 --> 00:27:00,369
Well, does he have a name,
or should I call him lawyer?
516
00:27:00,702 --> 00:27:01,912
[MOCKING LAUGHTER]
517
00:27:01,995 --> 00:27:02,788
Hoo!
518
00:27:02,871 --> 00:27:04,164
[LAUGHS]
519
00:27:04,248 --> 00:27:06,500
I'm sorry. This is Ace--
520
00:27:06,583 --> 00:27:08,919
Uh, Tom Ace.
521
00:27:09,002 --> 00:27:10,462
Tom Ace.
522
00:27:10,546 --> 00:27:12,172
Pleasure to meet you, Mr. Camp.
523
00:27:12,256 --> 00:27:14,133
And congratulations
on all your success.
524
00:27:14,216 --> 00:27:15,717
You smell terrific.
525
00:27:16,552 --> 00:27:17,928
I was just telling Melissa
526
00:27:18,011 --> 00:27:21,598
one of the first lessons
we learned back at Stanford law
527
00:27:21,682 --> 00:27:24,143
was the modern proliferation
of food poisoning claims
528
00:27:24,226 --> 00:27:25,602
against wealthy, private homeowners.
529
00:27:25,686 --> 00:27:27,563
In fact, if one were so inclined,
530
00:27:27,646 --> 00:27:30,023
one could make quite a lucrative
law practice with little else.
531
00:27:30,107 --> 00:27:32,943
[LAUGHS]
532
00:27:33,026 --> 00:27:34,945
How is everybody feeling tonight?
533
00:27:35,904 --> 00:27:37,698
Very, very well, thank you.
534
00:27:38,657 --> 00:27:41,827
Oh, look, honey,
there's the hors d'oeuvres.
535
00:27:42,661 --> 00:27:43,829
[CHUCKLES NERVOUSLY]
536
00:27:45,831 --> 00:27:46,874
[SOUR NOTE]
537
00:27:49,293 --> 00:27:50,836
Are you insane?
538
00:27:50,919 --> 00:27:53,255
There is no way that
Camp stole Snowflake.
539
00:27:53,338 --> 00:27:54,631
What are you trying to do?
540
00:27:54,715 --> 00:27:56,758
[SNIFFS, SPITS]
541
00:27:59,678 --> 00:28:01,096
Will you just keep him occupied
542
00:28:01,180 --> 00:28:02,890
while I work my magic, please?
543
00:28:09,062 --> 00:28:10,355
Smooshy, isn't it?
544
00:28:20,449 --> 00:28:23,410
I got a few cases from
my new dealer in Paris.
545
00:28:23,493 --> 00:28:24,411
Great.
546
00:28:24,494 --> 00:28:25,913
Excuse me, Ron,
547
00:28:25,996 --> 00:28:28,415
I, uh, need to use the bathroom.
548
00:28:28,498 --> 00:28:30,667
[WHISPERING]
I think it's the paté.
549
00:28:30,751 --> 00:28:32,127
Sure, it's over there.
550
00:28:32,211 --> 00:28:33,837
[CHUCKLING] Thanks.
551
00:28:33,921 --> 00:28:35,923
The stuff probably looks better
on the way out, huh?
552
00:28:36,006 --> 00:28:37,132
[CHUCKLES]
553
00:28:38,967 --> 00:28:40,469
Oh, God.
554
00:28:44,014 --> 00:28:46,225
He wasn't feeling well earlier today.
555
00:28:51,063 --> 00:28:55,025
[MISSION IMPOSSIBLE THEME PLAYS]
556
00:29:08,163 --> 00:29:09,122
[WINDOW CREAKS]
557
00:29:57,045 --> 00:29:58,547
- [DOOR SLAMS]
- [THEME MUSIC ENDS]
558
00:30:06,054 --> 00:30:06,805
[DOOR THUDS]
559
00:30:09,474 --> 00:30:10,767
[DOOR CREAKS]
560
00:30:13,103 --> 00:30:14,980
[SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC]
561
00:30:18,608 --> 00:30:20,485
[TRICKLING WATER]
562
00:30:25,449 --> 00:30:26,908
Gravy.
563
00:30:26,992 --> 00:30:30,537
[MUSIC CONTINUES]
564
00:30:30,620 --> 00:30:32,414
Don't worry, Snowflake,
565
00:30:32,497 --> 00:30:33,832
Ace Ventura's here.
566
00:30:37,627 --> 00:30:39,087
Yummy!
567
00:30:39,171 --> 00:30:40,088
[FISH THUDS]
568
00:30:42,883 --> 00:30:44,760
[TENSE MUSIC]
569
00:30:58,106 --> 00:30:58,982
Snowflake?
570
00:31:00,984 --> 00:31:02,152
Here, Snowflake.
571
00:31:03,862 --> 00:31:05,364
I've got a little snack for ya.
572
00:31:05,739 --> 00:31:06,573
[WHISTLES]
573
00:31:06,656 --> 00:31:08,033
- [GROWLING]
- [WATER SPLASHES]
574
00:31:08,867 --> 00:31:12,829
[SCREAMS]
575
00:31:12,913 --> 00:31:14,790
[WATER SPLASHES]
576
00:31:16,208 --> 00:31:18,960
[CLASSICAL MUSIC]
577
00:31:20,087 --> 00:31:22,130
CAMP: They're wonderful,
aren't they?
578
00:31:22,214 --> 00:31:25,384
Yes, they--they certainly are.
579
00:31:25,467 --> 00:31:27,719
No matter what's
going on in my life,
580
00:31:27,803 --> 00:31:29,930
I can always
watch them swim
581
00:31:30,013 --> 00:31:32,349
and be totally at peace.
582
00:31:33,892 --> 00:31:35,852
[TENSE MUSIC]
583
00:31:35,936 --> 00:31:38,271
- [PANTING]
- [WATER SPLASHING]
584
00:31:40,148 --> 00:31:41,525
It's not Snowflake.
585
00:31:42,776 --> 00:31:43,985
It's not Snowflake.
586
00:31:45,362 --> 00:31:48,281
It's not Snowflake!
587
00:31:48,365 --> 00:31:50,492
- [SPITTING WATER]
- [WATER THRASHING]
588
00:31:50,575 --> 00:31:52,411
It's not Snowflake!
589
00:31:53,537 --> 00:31:55,414
[YELLING]
590
00:31:59,918 --> 00:32:02,504
[CLASSICAL MUSIC]
591
00:32:07,217 --> 00:32:09,678
Are you sure your date is alright?
592
00:32:09,761 --> 00:32:11,471
It's been an awfully long time.
593
00:32:11,555 --> 00:32:14,641
Who, Tom?
Oh, I'm sure he's fine.
594
00:32:16,226 --> 00:32:19,271
- [WATER RUSHING]
- [FOOTSTEPS SQUISHING]
595
00:32:22,482 --> 00:32:23,900
[BAND STOPS]
596
00:32:26,278 --> 00:32:28,822
Do not go in there!
597
00:32:28,905 --> 00:32:30,240
Whoo!
598
00:32:30,323 --> 00:32:32,033
[INDISTINCT MUTTERING]
599
00:32:35,787 --> 00:32:37,122
- [WATER SQUIRTS]
- [GUESTS GASP]
600
00:32:41,209 --> 00:32:42,002
[BLAZER THUDS]
601
00:32:42,085 --> 00:32:43,670
I'm terribly sorry, Mr. Ace.
602
00:32:43,753 --> 00:32:45,964
I'll have the plumbing
checked immediately.
603
00:32:46,047 --> 00:32:47,340
Be sure that you do.
604
00:32:47,424 --> 00:32:48,925
If I'd been drinking
out of the toilet,
605
00:32:49,009 --> 00:32:50,177
I might have been killed.
606
00:32:50,260 --> 00:32:52,179
I'm sorry again, Mr. Ace.
607
00:32:53,013 --> 00:32:53,805
[LIPS SMACK]
608
00:32:57,184 --> 00:32:59,519
[STAMMERS] Uh, what are you doing?
609
00:32:59,603 --> 00:33:01,480
I--I'm sorry, Ron.
610
00:33:01,563 --> 00:33:02,522
What is he doing?
611
00:33:02,606 --> 00:33:04,232
- Ace, what are--let's go!
- [THUD]
612
00:33:04,316 --> 00:33:06,526
[RING CLATTERING]
613
00:33:06,610 --> 00:33:09,529
Ace, stop it!
614
00:33:09,613 --> 00:33:10,864
[SHOE THUDS]
615
00:33:10,947 --> 00:33:12,782
I don't even want to know
why your pants are missing.
616
00:33:12,866 --> 00:33:15,744
I don't care what happened.
You could have cost me my job.
617
00:33:16,578 --> 00:33:18,788
So you found a pebble
in Snowflake's tank.
618
00:33:18,872 --> 00:33:20,290
Excuse me while I call CNN.
619
00:33:20,373 --> 00:33:22,667
I found it in the filter,
thank you very much.
620
00:33:22,751 --> 00:33:24,169
And it's not a pebble.
621
00:33:24,252 --> 00:33:26,922
It's a rare, triangular-cut,
orange amber.
622
00:33:27,714 --> 00:33:28,924
[MELISSA STAMMERS]
623
00:33:29,007 --> 00:33:30,800
What are you talking about?
624
00:33:30,884 --> 00:33:34,221
Tonight, I saw the exact
same stone in Camp's ring.
625
00:33:34,304 --> 00:33:36,723
But I thought you said
Camp didn't do it.
626
00:33:36,806 --> 00:33:39,559
No, Camp's clean.
His ring wasn't missing a stone.
627
00:33:39,643 --> 00:33:42,479
But whoever was in that tank
had a ring just like his.
628
00:33:42,562 --> 00:33:44,856
Ring? What ring?
629
00:33:47,234 --> 00:33:50,862
The 1984 Dolphin AFC
championship ring.
630
00:33:52,489 --> 00:33:54,574
I find the ring
with the missing stone,
631
00:33:54,658 --> 00:33:56,034
I find Snowflake.
632
00:33:57,452 --> 00:33:58,954
How are you gonna do that?
633
00:33:59,037 --> 00:34:00,455
[BOOK SHUTS, THUDS]
634
00:34:01,248 --> 00:34:02,582
Simple.
635
00:34:02,666 --> 00:34:04,251
[SNAPS, SPITS]
636
00:34:04,334 --> 00:34:06,670
[UPBEAT MUSIC]
637
00:34:09,214 --> 00:34:10,549
Hey, loser!
638
00:34:10,632 --> 00:34:14,344
Why don't you learn
how to drive, pal, huh?
639
00:34:14,427 --> 00:34:16,721
Whoo! Oh, you want to play?
640
00:34:16,805 --> 00:34:17,722
Whoo!
641
00:34:17,806 --> 00:34:19,307
Whoo!
642
00:34:20,350 --> 00:34:22,227
[UPBEAT MUSIC CONTINUES]
643
00:34:26,398 --> 00:34:27,524
Damn it!
644
00:34:27,607 --> 00:34:29,234
♪ If you think that you're strong ♪
645
00:34:29,317 --> 00:34:31,111
♪ Want to fight,
Well, come on ♪
646
00:34:31,194 --> 00:34:32,112
♪ And line up ♪
647
00:34:32,195 --> 00:34:33,238
♪ Line up ♪
648
00:34:34,739 --> 00:34:36,575
♪ When the goin' gets tough ♪
649
00:34:36,658 --> 00:34:38,743
♪ And your talk ain't enough ♪
650
00:34:38,827 --> 00:34:40,829
- ♪ Line up ♪
- ♪ Line up ♪
651
00:34:42,080 --> 00:34:43,873
♪ We got to get up,
Get out ♪
652
00:34:43,957 --> 00:34:45,834
♪ Before they get us down ♪
653
00:34:45,917 --> 00:34:48,253
♪ Cause livin' up against the wall ♪
654
00:34:48,336 --> 00:34:50,714
♪ Yeah, has got us locked up ♪
655
00:34:52,591 --> 00:34:53,883
♪ Come on and line up ♪
656
00:34:53,967 --> 00:34:55,468
♪ Line up ♪
657
00:34:56,970 --> 00:34:58,597
♪ So don't be surprised ♪
658
00:34:58,680 --> 00:35:02,726
♪ When they pull
The wool over your eyes ♪
659
00:35:02,809 --> 00:35:04,769
♪ Yeah, don't get funked up ♪
660
00:35:07,314 --> 00:35:09,232
[GRUNTING]
661
00:35:09,316 --> 00:35:10,984
[SCREAMS]
662
00:35:13,153 --> 00:35:16,656
[UPBEAT MUSIC CONTINUES]
663
00:35:16,740 --> 00:35:18,950
♪ Oh, yeah ♪
664
00:35:19,034 --> 00:35:20,910
[UPBEAT MUSIC CONTINUES]
665
00:35:24,289 --> 00:35:25,665
♪ Yeah ♪
666
00:35:25,749 --> 00:35:27,417
♪ If you got all the stuff ♪
667
00:35:27,500 --> 00:35:29,002
♪ And you can't get enough ♪
668
00:35:29,085 --> 00:35:31,463
- ♪ Then line up ♪
- ♪ Line up ♪
669
00:35:32,380 --> 00:35:34,424
- [TOWEL THWACKS]
- ♪ You're out on a limb ♪
670
00:35:34,507 --> 00:35:36,301
♪ And you want to come in ♪
671
00:35:36,384 --> 00:35:38,678
- ♪ Then line up ♪
- ♪ Line up ♪
672
00:35:39,429 --> 00:35:42,182
♪ Yeah, your head's down,
Sitting 'round ♪
673
00:35:42,265 --> 00:35:44,142
♪ Pick yo face up off the ground ♪
674
00:35:44,225 --> 00:35:46,936
♪ And get yourself together, baby ♪
675
00:35:47,020 --> 00:35:49,064
♪ And learn to stand tough ♪
676
00:35:50,565 --> 00:35:53,109
- ♪ Come on and line up ♪
- ♪ Line up ♪
677
00:35:54,986 --> 00:35:56,613
♪ You better get to it ♪
678
00:35:56,696 --> 00:36:01,368
♪ Instead of just standin' around ♪
679
00:36:01,451 --> 00:36:03,244
♪ It's time to get down ♪
680
00:36:06,164 --> 00:36:07,248
♪ Come on, y'all ♪
681
00:36:07,332 --> 00:36:09,209
[UPBEAT MUSIC CONTINUES]
682
00:36:13,296 --> 00:36:14,255
[ZIPS PANTS]
683
00:36:16,174 --> 00:36:17,842
♪ Oh, yeah ♪
684
00:36:25,934 --> 00:36:28,812
[UPBEAT MUSIC CONTINUES]
685
00:36:43,576 --> 00:36:45,453
[BIRDS CHIRPING]
686
00:36:50,959 --> 00:36:53,420
Ace, that stone could
have come from anywhere.
687
00:36:53,503 --> 00:36:55,213
It could have come from...
688
00:36:55,296 --> 00:36:58,550
a necklace or a pendant, an earring.
689
00:36:58,633 --> 00:37:03,430
It came from an '84 AFC
championship ring.
690
00:37:06,933 --> 00:37:08,685
You know,
Lieutenant Einhorn thinks
691
00:37:08,768 --> 00:37:10,729
that it may have been
an animal rights group.
692
00:37:10,812 --> 00:37:12,188
Have you ever heard of F.A.N.?
693
00:37:12,522 --> 00:37:15,191
Free Animals Now? Started in
1982 by Chelsea Gamble,
694
00:37:15,275 --> 00:37:17,360
daughter of the famous
industrialist Fisher Gamble?
695
00:37:17,444 --> 00:37:19,612
Over half a million members
from Florida to Finland?
696
00:37:19,696 --> 00:37:21,489
No, who are they?
697
00:37:22,490 --> 00:37:23,992
Well, did you know
that last year they sent
698
00:37:24,075 --> 00:37:26,870
127 threatening letters
to different college teams,
699
00:37:26,953 --> 00:37:28,329
demanding the release
of their mascots?
700
00:37:28,413 --> 00:37:29,706
What do you feed your dog?
701
00:37:30,790 --> 00:37:31,791
Oh.
702
00:37:31,875 --> 00:37:33,501
Dog food. Why?
703
00:37:33,877 --> 00:37:35,170
He is miserable.
704
00:37:35,545 --> 00:37:37,130
[SCOFFS] What are you talking about?
705
00:37:37,213 --> 00:37:39,632
He's just very unhappy.
I feel sorry for him--
706
00:37:39,716 --> 00:37:41,634
Bad diet,
isolated environment.
707
00:37:41,718 --> 00:37:43,720
It's amazing he's still alive.
708
00:37:45,722 --> 00:37:47,932
You know, you're just mad
because your stupid
709
00:37:48,016 --> 00:37:49,934
little pebble theory
didn't work out,
710
00:37:50,018 --> 00:37:51,686
and you don't know
how to express your anger.
711
00:37:52,520 --> 00:37:54,898
Yeah? And you're ugly.
712
00:37:56,232 --> 00:37:57,984
You know what?
I'm not even gonna talk to you.
713
00:37:58,067 --> 00:37:59,569
Would you please leave?
714
00:37:59,652 --> 00:38:02,655
Why, so you
can beat him... fatty?
715
00:38:03,740 --> 00:38:05,325
- You're unbelievable.
- [PHONE RINGS]
716
00:38:05,408 --> 00:38:07,619
You know what? Hiring you was
the biggest mistake I ever made.
717
00:38:07,702 --> 00:38:10,497
Well, why don't you cry
about it, saddlebags?
718
00:38:10,580 --> 00:38:12,791
[PHONE CONTINUES RINGING]
719
00:38:12,874 --> 00:38:14,459
[FOOTSTEPS RECEDE]
720
00:38:15,543 --> 00:38:17,837
You like her, huh?
721
00:38:17,921 --> 00:38:19,297
Yeah, she's alright.
722
00:38:22,050 --> 00:38:23,426
Melissa!
723
00:38:29,098 --> 00:38:31,392
Look, Melissa, I, uh...
724
00:38:34,604 --> 00:38:36,689
REPORTER:
I'm here at the North Beach Towers,
725
00:38:36,773 --> 00:38:39,359
a luxury condo complex
in north Miami,
726
00:38:39,442 --> 00:38:40,902
where Roger Podacter,
727
00:38:40,985 --> 00:38:43,029
head of operations for
the Miami Dolphins,
728
00:38:43,112 --> 00:38:45,198
has apparently committed suicide,
729
00:38:45,281 --> 00:38:46,908
allegedly leaping to his death
730
00:38:46,991 --> 00:38:49,536
from his own 20th-story balcony.
731
00:38:49,619 --> 00:38:52,330
Lieutenant Lois Einhorn of
the Miami police department...
732
00:38:52,413 --> 00:38:53,957
OFFICER:
Please. Move back, please.
733
00:38:54,040 --> 00:38:55,291
- [REPORTER CONTINUES]
- Move back.
734
00:38:55,375 --> 00:38:57,126
[CAMERAS CLICKING]
735
00:38:58,336 --> 00:38:59,838
Are you okay?
736
00:39:00,171 --> 00:39:02,674
WOMAN: Well,
I told you, I was in my apartment
737
00:39:02,757 --> 00:39:04,133
-across the hall,
-MAN: Yes, ma'am.
738
00:39:04,676 --> 00:39:06,719
- I heard a scream.
- Uh-huh?
739
00:39:06,803 --> 00:39:09,097
So I called the manager.
740
00:39:09,180 --> 00:39:10,598
MANAGER:
Well, the place was empty,
741
00:39:10,682 --> 00:39:12,851
except for that damn dog
in the other room.
742
00:39:12,934 --> 00:39:15,353
I opened the balcony door,
looked over the railing,
743
00:39:15,436 --> 00:39:17,564
- splat, bang, pancake time.
- [ACE SNIFFING]
744
00:39:17,647 --> 00:39:19,148
DETECTIVE:
Okay, thank you very much.
745
00:39:19,232 --> 00:39:21,276
I'm gonna leave you one of my cards.
746
00:39:21,359 --> 00:39:22,652
[DETECTIVE CONTINUES INDISTINCTLY]
747
00:39:23,152 --> 00:39:24,696
[DOG WHIMPERS QUIETLY]
748
00:39:25,446 --> 00:39:26,698
Hi there, fella.
749
00:39:26,781 --> 00:39:27,991
Have a bad night?
750
00:39:34,122 --> 00:39:36,541
[BARKS]
751
00:39:39,377 --> 00:39:43,089
So... animals can sense evil.
752
00:39:43,172 --> 00:39:44,966
Who let Dr. Dolittle in?
753
00:39:45,049 --> 00:39:47,969
Uh, Lieutenant,
he came with Miss Robinson.
754
00:39:48,052 --> 00:39:49,929
This is official police business.
755
00:39:50,013 --> 00:39:52,140
We'll let you know
if the coroner finds a tick.
756
00:39:52,223 --> 00:39:53,975
[ALL LAUGH]
757
00:39:54,058 --> 00:39:55,602
[IMITATES LAUGHTER]
758
00:39:55,685 --> 00:39:56,811
EMILIO: Oh, just face it--
759
00:39:56,895 --> 00:39:58,980
E, forget it. She's right.
760
00:39:59,063 --> 00:40:02,150
Besides, I wouldn't want
somebody tracing my steps,
761
00:40:02,233 --> 00:40:04,777
pointing out all
the mistakes I was making.
762
00:40:04,861 --> 00:40:07,405
[SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC]
763
00:40:17,457 --> 00:40:19,667
[FOOTSTEPS APPROACHING]
764
00:40:19,751 --> 00:40:23,046
So, you don't think this
is an obvious suicide,
765
00:40:23,129 --> 00:40:25,423
Mr. Pet Detective?
766
00:40:25,506 --> 00:40:27,634
Well, I wouldn't say that.
Lord knows,
767
00:40:27,717 --> 00:40:30,011
there's plenty of evidence here
to support your theory,
768
00:40:30,094 --> 00:40:32,764
except, of course, for that spot of
blood on the railing over there.
769
00:40:38,311 --> 00:40:39,896
May I tell you
what I think happened?
770
00:40:39,979 --> 00:40:42,231
Alrighty then.
771
00:40:42,315 --> 00:40:44,150
Roger Podacter
went out after work.
772
00:40:44,233 --> 00:40:45,902
He had a few drinks
and he came home.
773
00:40:45,985 --> 00:40:49,113
But he wasn't alone. Someone else
was with him in this apartment.
774
00:40:49,197 --> 00:40:50,281
There was a struggle,
775
00:40:50,365 --> 00:40:52,951
and he was thrown over that balcony.
776
00:40:53,034 --> 00:40:55,787
Roger Podacter
didn't commit suicide.
777
00:40:55,870 --> 00:40:57,455
He was murdered.
778
00:40:59,207 --> 00:41:01,668
Well, that's a very
entertaining story,
779
00:41:01,751 --> 00:41:03,670
but unfortunately,
real detectives
780
00:41:03,753 --> 00:41:07,757
have to worry about that
little thing called evidence.
781
00:41:08,758 --> 00:41:09,968
AGUADO: Uh-oh!
782
00:41:10,051 --> 00:41:12,470
I think I heard a toilet flush. [CHUCKLES]
783
00:41:12,553 --> 00:41:14,555
Maybe somebody lost a turtle.
784
00:41:14,639 --> 00:41:16,808
[ALL LAUGH]
785
00:41:18,393 --> 00:41:20,395
Well, I...
786
00:41:20,478 --> 00:41:22,313
guess I'm a little
out of my league here.
787
00:41:22,397 --> 00:41:23,648
Hmm.
788
00:41:23,731 --> 00:41:24,983
Einhorn,
789
00:41:25,066 --> 00:41:26,526
good work.
790
00:41:28,027 --> 00:41:29,737
Oh! [CHUCKLES]
791
00:41:33,533 --> 00:41:38,538
Oh, there is just
one more thing, lieutenant.
792
00:41:38,621 --> 00:41:40,289
This woman is
Roger Podacter's neighbor.
793
00:41:40,373 --> 00:41:41,666
She lives across the hall.
794
00:41:41,749 --> 00:41:43,543
She said she heard a scream.
Is that right, ma'am?
795
00:41:43,626 --> 00:41:44,377
Right.
796
00:41:44,460 --> 00:41:47,505
And you said you had to open the balcony
door when you keyed into the room?
797
00:41:47,588 --> 00:41:48,881
- That's true.
- You're certain
798
00:41:48,965 --> 00:41:50,925
you had to open this door?
799
00:41:51,009 --> 00:41:52,552
MANAGER:
Yeah, I'm certain.
800
00:41:52,635 --> 00:41:54,554
What's the point, Ventura?
801
00:41:55,304 --> 00:41:56,764
Only this.
802
00:41:57,098 --> 00:41:58,391
[YELLS]
803
00:41:58,474 --> 00:41:59,392
[INAUDIBLE]
804
00:41:59,475 --> 00:42:00,643
[YELLS]
805
00:42:00,727 --> 00:42:01,686
[SILENCE]
806
00:42:01,769 --> 00:42:02,770
- [DOOR OPENS]
- [YELLING]
807
00:42:02,854 --> 00:42:03,688
- [DOOR CLOSES]
- [SILENCE]
808
00:42:03,771 --> 00:42:04,897
[YELLING CONTINUES]
809
00:42:04,981 --> 00:42:05,773
[SILENCE]
810
00:42:05,857 --> 00:42:07,525
- [DOOR OPENS, CLOSES]
- [YELLING CONTINUES, STOPS]
811
00:42:07,608 --> 00:42:09,402
[YELLING CONTINUES]
812
00:42:10,153 --> 00:42:12,488
This is double-paned
soundproof glass.
813
00:42:12,572 --> 00:42:14,240
There's no way that neighbor
814
00:42:14,323 --> 00:42:17,243
could have heard Podacter scream
on the way down with that door shut.
815
00:42:17,326 --> 00:42:19,912
The scream she heard
came from inside this apartment
816
00:42:19,996 --> 00:42:21,664
before he was
thrown over the balcony.
817
00:42:21,748 --> 00:42:24,333
The murderer closed
the door before he left.
818
00:42:24,417 --> 00:42:26,544
Yes! Yes!
819
00:42:26,627 --> 00:42:28,046
Oh, yeah!
820
00:42:28,129 --> 00:42:30,256
Can you feel that, buddy?
821
00:42:30,339 --> 00:42:32,258
Huh? Huh? Huh?
822
00:42:32,341 --> 00:42:37,305
[SOUTHERN ACCENT]
I have exorcised the demons.
823
00:42:38,473 --> 00:42:41,392
This house is clear.
824
00:42:42,518 --> 00:42:43,478
[NORMAL VOICE] Losers.
825
00:42:43,561 --> 00:42:44,771
Get him out of here!
826
00:42:44,854 --> 00:42:45,938
Losers!
827
00:42:46,022 --> 00:42:46,939
Let's go, Ace.
828
00:42:47,023 --> 00:42:48,357
Losers.
829
00:42:48,441 --> 00:42:51,277
- [UPBEAT MUSIC]
- Loo-hoo-se-hers!
830
00:42:51,360 --> 00:42:53,362
AGUADO:
Let's go. Come on, Ace.
831
00:42:53,446 --> 00:42:55,073
- ACE: Losers.
- AGUADO: Back to the zoo.
832
00:42:56,157 --> 00:42:57,116
[DOOR CLOSES]
833
00:42:58,785 --> 00:43:01,037
MELISSA:
What are you thinking?
834
00:43:01,120 --> 00:43:03,915
I'm thinking this whole thing
is connected somehow.
835
00:43:03,998 --> 00:43:06,542
I'm thinking
I wanna find that other ring.
836
00:43:08,336 --> 00:43:10,671
MELISSA:
Ace, you checked all the rings.
837
00:43:10,755 --> 00:43:13,007
ACE: Receipts?
What about receipts?
838
00:43:13,091 --> 00:43:14,759
There's gotta be receipts.
839
00:43:14,842 --> 00:43:16,385
[SOFT MUSIC]
840
00:43:23,810 --> 00:43:25,311
You know, that was
pretty impressive,
841
00:43:25,394 --> 00:43:28,022
what you did back
at the apartment.
842
00:43:28,106 --> 00:43:30,149
You don't have to tell me.
843
00:43:30,233 --> 00:43:31,609
I was there.
844
00:43:33,945 --> 00:43:35,988
Maybe you should've
joined the police force,
845
00:43:36,072 --> 00:43:37,907
become a real detective.
846
00:43:37,990 --> 00:43:39,784
I don't do humans.
847
00:43:42,203 --> 00:43:43,788
You really love animals, don't you?
848
00:43:45,706 --> 00:43:46,874
If it gets cold enough.
849
00:43:46,958 --> 00:43:49,168
[MELISSA CHUCKLES]
850
00:43:49,252 --> 00:43:50,837
No, I have a kinship with them.
851
00:43:50,920 --> 00:43:53,381
I, uh, I understand them.
852
00:43:55,550 --> 00:43:57,343
Want to hear something
kind of spooky?
853
00:43:57,426 --> 00:43:58,803
MELISSA: Sure.
854
00:44:01,722 --> 00:44:03,182
One time,
when I was about 12,
855
00:44:03,266 --> 00:44:04,433
I had this dream
856
00:44:04,517 --> 00:44:08,020
that I was being followed by
a big dog with rabies.
857
00:44:08,104 --> 00:44:10,148
He had these really
bloodshot eyes
858
00:44:10,231 --> 00:44:12,692
and foam coming
out of his mouth.
859
00:44:12,775 --> 00:44:14,277
No matter how fast I ran,
860
00:44:14,360 --> 00:44:18,156
he just kept gaining on me and
gaining on me and gaining on me.
861
00:44:19,991 --> 00:44:23,119
And just before
I got to my front door,
862
00:44:23,202 --> 00:44:25,329
he jumped and
sank his teeth in.
863
00:44:27,540 --> 00:44:29,876
And that's when I woke up
864
00:44:29,959 --> 00:44:31,377
and felt the back of my neck.
865
00:44:31,460 --> 00:44:33,129
Check that out--boo!
866
00:44:33,212 --> 00:44:34,672
- [SCREAMS]
- [GROWLS]
867
00:44:34,755 --> 00:44:37,049
- God, you're a bastard.
- [IMITATES BARKING]
868
00:44:37,133 --> 00:44:38,551
[MELISSA CHUCKLES]
869
00:44:38,634 --> 00:44:40,970
I'm sorry. I just
couldn't help myself.
870
00:44:42,221 --> 00:44:44,015
You really want to know
why I do what I do?
871
00:44:44,098 --> 00:44:45,850
No, I'm not sure
I really want to know anymore.
872
00:44:45,933 --> 00:44:48,436
Well, you'd better be sure,
873
00:44:48,519 --> 00:44:50,897
because once you
get inside my head
874
00:44:50,980 --> 00:44:52,732
there's no turning back, baby.
875
00:44:52,815 --> 00:44:54,567
[LAUGHS]
876
00:44:54,650 --> 00:44:56,360
[SOFT MUSIC CONTINUES]
877
00:45:04,493 --> 00:45:07,246
So, um, ahem...
878
00:45:07,330 --> 00:45:08,539
are these all the receipts?
879
00:45:08,623 --> 00:45:09,832
There's only a dozen.
880
00:45:09,916 --> 00:45:12,126
You know, maybe it's in another file,
in the back or something,
881
00:45:12,210 --> 00:45:14,253
Who the hell is that?
882
00:45:14,337 --> 00:45:15,379
Oh, what?
883
00:45:19,592 --> 00:45:20,760
That?
884
00:45:21,594 --> 00:45:23,346
Who the hell is that?
885
00:45:24,180 --> 00:45:25,973
That's Ray Finkle, the kicker.
886
00:45:26,057 --> 00:45:27,433
Don't you know
who Ray Finkle is?
887
00:45:27,808 --> 00:45:30,978
No. How come
he's not in this picture?
888
00:45:35,483 --> 00:45:37,485
This was taken earlier in the year.
889
00:45:37,568 --> 00:45:40,279
Ray Finkle wasn't added
to the roster till mid-season.
890
00:45:45,785 --> 00:45:47,620
He's the guy who missed
the final field goal
891
00:45:47,703 --> 00:45:49,330
in the Super Bowl that year.
892
00:45:49,413 --> 00:45:51,123
Cost the Dolphins the game.
893
00:45:51,707 --> 00:45:53,834
But he got himself a ring, didn't he?
894
00:45:55,253 --> 00:45:56,337
Definitely.
895
00:45:56,837 --> 00:45:59,632
MELISSA:
"Replacement kicker having a great year."
896
00:45:59,715 --> 00:46:02,385
"Ready for Super Bowl,
all-star kicker boasts."
897
00:46:02,468 --> 00:46:04,136
"Field goal sails wide.
898
00:46:04,220 --> 00:46:06,555
"Dolphins lose Super Bowl."
899
00:46:06,639 --> 00:46:09,350
"The kick heard 'round the world."
900
00:46:09,433 --> 00:46:10,601
That was Finkle.
901
00:46:10,685 --> 00:46:12,812
The Dolphins lost by one point.
902
00:46:12,895 --> 00:46:13,729
Whew.
903
00:46:14,772 --> 00:46:16,607
MELISSA: Poor guy.
904
00:46:16,691 --> 00:46:19,610
Poor guy with a motive, baby.
905
00:46:19,694 --> 00:46:20,987
Where is he now?
906
00:46:21,070 --> 00:46:22,405
Last I heard,
907
00:46:22,488 --> 00:46:24,490
he went back to
his hometown in Collier County.
908
00:46:25,157 --> 00:46:29,745
Re-e-e-e-e-eally?
909
00:46:30,997 --> 00:46:32,123
You are gonna drop me off
910
00:46:32,206 --> 00:46:33,332
before you go, aren't you?
911
00:46:34,166 --> 00:46:35,376
No way.
912
00:46:35,459 --> 00:46:37,253
You shouldn't be
left alone right now.
913
00:46:37,336 --> 00:46:39,797
It might not be safe
at your apartment.
914
00:46:40,715 --> 00:46:42,341
What do you suggest?
915
00:46:42,425 --> 00:46:44,427
♪ Dee dee dee dee ♪
916
00:46:44,510 --> 00:46:46,053
♪ Dee dee dee dee dee ♪
917
00:46:46,137 --> 00:46:49,682
♪ We um bum away ♪
918
00:46:49,765 --> 00:46:51,517
♪ Ey-up-ah ♪
919
00:46:51,600 --> 00:46:53,019
♪ A-weema-weh, a-weema-weh ♪
920
00:46:53,102 --> 00:46:55,313
- [MELISSA MOANING]
- ♪ A-weema-weh, a-weema-weh ♪
921
00:46:55,396 --> 00:46:57,231
♪ A-weema-weh, a-weema-weh ♪
922
00:46:57,315 --> 00:46:59,066
♪ In the jungle ♪
923
00:46:59,150 --> 00:47:00,818
- [ACE MOANING]
- ♪ The mighty jungle ♪
924
00:47:00,901 --> 00:47:04,780
♪ The lion sleeps tonight ♪
925
00:47:04,864 --> 00:47:06,699
- [ANIMALS CHITTERING]
- ♪ In the jungle ♪
926
00:47:06,782 --> 00:47:08,451
- [OBJECTS CLATTERING]
- ♪ The mighty jungle ♪
927
00:47:08,534 --> 00:47:12,079
- [ANIMALS CONTINUE CHITTERING]
- ♪ The lion sleeps tonight ♪
928
00:47:12,163 --> 00:47:14,040
♪ A-weema-weh, a-weema-weh ♪
929
00:47:14,123 --> 00:47:15,916
♪ A-weema-weh, a-weema-weh ♪
930
00:47:16,000 --> 00:47:17,835
♪ A-weema-weh, a-weema-weh ♪
931
00:47:17,918 --> 00:47:19,920
♪ A-weema-weh, a-weema-weh ♪
932
00:47:20,004 --> 00:47:21,505
- [BOTH MOANING]
- ♪ Dee dee dee dee ♪
933
00:47:21,589 --> 00:47:23,299
♪ Dee dee dee dee dee ♪
934
00:47:23,382 --> 00:47:25,593
♪ We um bum away ♪
935
00:47:25,676 --> 00:47:27,011
[MELISSA MOANS]
936
00:47:27,094 --> 00:47:28,512
Oh, my God.
937
00:47:29,180 --> 00:47:31,724
Oh, my God.
938
00:47:32,350 --> 00:47:34,101
Three times?
939
00:47:34,852 --> 00:47:36,062
I'm sorry.
940
00:47:36,145 --> 00:47:38,314
That's never
happened to me before.
941
00:47:38,397 --> 00:47:40,107
I must be tired.
942
00:47:41,609 --> 00:47:43,444
[MOANS]
943
00:47:43,527 --> 00:47:44,862
Okay, I'm ready again.
944
00:47:44,945 --> 00:47:46,238
[MELISSA GASPS, LAUGHS]
945
00:47:46,322 --> 00:47:48,199
[ROCK MUSIC]
946
00:48:15,059 --> 00:48:17,937
[TENSE MUSIC]
947
00:48:26,821 --> 00:48:27,780
[CAR DOOR SHUTS]
948
00:48:32,952 --> 00:48:34,036
[KNOCKING]
949
00:48:35,663 --> 00:48:36,539
[DOOR SLIDES]
950
00:48:36,622 --> 00:48:37,790
Hi.
951
00:48:37,873 --> 00:48:40,459
I'm looking for Ray Finkle.
952
00:48:40,543 --> 00:48:42,378
- [GUN COCKS]
- And a clean pair of shorts.
953
00:48:42,711 --> 00:48:45,506
What do you know
about Ray Finkle?
954
00:48:45,840 --> 00:48:47,633
[INHALES LOUDLY]
955
00:48:47,716 --> 00:48:50,928
Soccer-style kicker, graduated
from Collier High June 1976.
956
00:48:51,011 --> 00:48:53,180
Stetson University
honors graduate, class of 1980.
957
00:48:53,264 --> 00:48:54,932
Holds two NCAA
division-one records,
958
00:48:55,015 --> 00:48:56,559
one for most points
in a season, one for distance.
959
00:48:56,642 --> 00:48:59,145
Former nickname "The Mule."
The first and only pro athlete
960
00:48:59,228 --> 00:49:00,312
ever to come out of
Collier County.
961
00:49:00,396 --> 00:49:02,189
And one hell
of a model American.
962
00:49:02,273 --> 00:49:03,399
[INHALES SHARPLY]
963
00:49:03,482 --> 00:49:05,151
- [EXHALES]
- [GUN CLICKS]
964
00:49:08,487 --> 00:49:11,282
Are you another one
of them Hard Copy guys?
965
00:49:11,365 --> 00:49:14,034
No, sir. I'm just
a very big Finkle fan.
966
00:49:16,036 --> 00:49:19,039
[VOICE BREAKS]
This is my Graceland, sir.
967
00:49:19,123 --> 00:49:21,876
- Will you put that gun down?
- [MUTTERING]
968
00:49:21,959 --> 00:49:25,045
The boy is a fan of our son.
969
00:49:25,129 --> 00:49:28,048
- Oh, alright.
- So nice to meet you.
970
00:49:28,132 --> 00:49:29,550
I'm Ray's mother,
971
00:49:29,633 --> 00:49:31,552
and this is Ray's father.
972
00:49:32,219 --> 00:49:34,472
[NORMAL VOICE]
It's a real honor.
973
00:49:34,555 --> 00:49:38,517
Well, it's an honor
to have you in our home.
974
00:49:38,601 --> 00:49:39,351
[DOOR SHUTS]
975
00:49:39,435 --> 00:49:42,480
My Ray is so
appreciative of his fans.
976
00:49:42,563 --> 00:49:45,232
He'll be so pleased you stopped by.
977
00:49:45,316 --> 00:49:47,568
Are you expecting Ray
any time soon?
978
00:49:47,651 --> 00:49:49,778
Oh, yes. I expect him
home any minute.
979
00:49:49,862 --> 00:49:50,988
Ah!
980
00:49:51,071 --> 00:49:52,573
Would you like some cookies?
981
00:49:52,656 --> 00:49:54,492
I just baked them.
982
00:49:54,575 --> 00:49:55,910
Yummy.
983
00:49:56,911 --> 00:49:59,997
[MRS. FINKLE HUMS]
984
00:50:00,080 --> 00:50:01,290
Wow!
985
00:50:02,416 --> 00:50:04,752
Ray Finkle's house.
986
00:50:06,003 --> 00:50:07,338
I can't wait to meet him.
987
00:50:07,421 --> 00:50:09,381
[CLATTERING IN OTHER ROOM]
988
00:50:10,257 --> 00:50:12,384
Ray ain't coming home.
989
00:50:12,468 --> 00:50:14,261
[HUMMING CONTINUES]
990
00:50:14,345 --> 00:50:16,555
But your wife said you expect
him home any minute.
991
00:50:16,639 --> 00:50:19,183
She expects him home any minute.
992
00:50:20,226 --> 00:50:21,644
See, the engine's running,
993
00:50:21,727 --> 00:50:24,021
but there's nobody
behind the wheel.
994
00:50:25,231 --> 00:50:26,857
I mean, eight years ago,
995
00:50:26,941 --> 00:50:29,860
our son escaped from
Shady Acres Mental Hospital
996
00:50:29,944 --> 00:50:30,986
in Tampa.
997
00:50:31,070 --> 00:50:32,821
And they're still bugging us
998
00:50:32,905 --> 00:50:34,406
to pick up his stuff.
999
00:50:34,490 --> 00:50:36,617
It was all that Dan Marino's fault.
1000
00:50:36,700 --> 00:50:38,202
Everyone knows that.
1001
00:50:38,285 --> 00:50:40,496
If he had held the ball laces out
1002
00:50:40,579 --> 00:50:41,747
like he was supposed to,
1003
00:50:41,830 --> 00:50:44,124
Ray would never
have missed that kick.
1004
00:50:44,583 --> 00:50:48,337
Dan Marino should die
of gonorrhea and rot in hell.
1005
00:50:48,921 --> 00:50:50,965
Would you like a cookie, son?
1006
00:50:52,550 --> 00:50:53,801
Hm.
1007
00:50:53,884 --> 00:50:55,427
What do you know?
1008
00:50:55,511 --> 00:50:57,638
They're little footballs. [LAUGHS]
1009
00:50:57,721 --> 00:50:59,181
Laces out.
1010
00:51:00,849 --> 00:51:03,769
When Ray gets back
and starts kicking again,
1011
00:51:03,852 --> 00:51:06,230
he'll never even know
he was gone.
1012
00:51:06,313 --> 00:51:08,774
I've kept his room
just the way he left it.
1013
00:51:10,734 --> 00:51:12,111
[DOOR CREAKS]
1014
00:51:17,449 --> 00:51:19,326
[EERIE MUSIC]
1015
00:51:32,006 --> 00:51:33,465
Oh, boy.
1016
00:51:33,549 --> 00:51:36,218
What a sports nut, huh?
1017
00:51:47,938 --> 00:51:49,106
May I?
1018
00:51:49,189 --> 00:51:51,692
Oh, yes. By all means.
1019
00:51:51,775 --> 00:51:52,901
[SWITCH CLICKS]
1020
00:51:52,985 --> 00:51:53,819
[DOOR SHUTS]
1021
00:51:54,778 --> 00:51:58,157
ANNOUNCER [ON VIDEO]: Five seconds
to go here in Super Bowl XVII.
1022
00:51:58,240 --> 00:52:01,410
Dolphins are trailing the 49ers by one.
1023
00:52:01,493 --> 00:52:04,330
This will win the game for Miami.
1024
00:52:04,413 --> 00:52:06,290
There's the snap.
1025
00:52:06,373 --> 00:52:07,875
Marino holds.
1026
00:52:07,958 --> 00:52:09,501
The kick.
1027
00:52:09,585 --> 00:52:11,837
And it's wide. Oh, no!
1028
00:52:11,920 --> 00:52:13,297
It's no good.
1029
00:52:13,380 --> 00:52:16,925
Ray Finkle blew
a 26-yard field goal.
1030
00:52:17,009 --> 00:52:19,261
I don't believe it.
1031
00:52:19,345 --> 00:52:20,804
The Dolphins lose.
1032
00:52:20,888 --> 00:52:22,389
The Dolphins lose.
1033
00:52:22,473 --> 00:52:25,351
The Dolphins lose the Super Bowl.
1034
00:52:25,434 --> 00:52:26,685
Oh, no!
1035
00:52:27,019 --> 00:52:28,520
Melissa, it's Ace.
1036
00:52:28,604 --> 00:52:29,813
MELISSA [ON PHONE]:
Ace, where are you?
1037
00:52:29,897 --> 00:52:32,149
I'm in Psychoville,
and Finkle's the mayor.
1038
00:52:32,232 --> 00:52:33,317
Where's Dan Marino?
1039
00:52:33,400 --> 00:52:34,693
Marino? Why?
1040
00:52:34,777 --> 00:52:36,528
Because he's about
to join Snowflake.
1041
00:52:36,612 --> 00:52:37,780
I've gotta know where he is!
1042
00:52:37,863 --> 00:52:40,616
Alright, he had a practice
and then he has a commercial shoot
1043
00:52:40,699 --> 00:52:42,201
at the Bogart Sound Stage.
1044
00:52:42,284 --> 00:52:43,369
Okay, call the police.
1045
00:52:43,452 --> 00:52:45,788
Get extra security over there now.
1046
00:52:45,871 --> 00:52:47,915
Ace, what's going on?
1047
00:52:48,791 --> 00:52:49,708
Ace.
1048
00:52:50,626 --> 00:52:51,460
Ace!
1049
00:52:51,543 --> 00:52:52,294
Thought I left, didn't you?
1050
00:52:52,711 --> 00:52:53,671
[CHUCKLES]
1051
00:52:54,171 --> 00:52:56,215
Okay, I'm really gonna go this time.
1052
00:52:57,424 --> 00:52:59,301
[UPBEAT MUSIC]
1053
00:53:04,890 --> 00:53:07,142
DIRECTOR: Okay.
Here we go, folks. Very quiet and...
1054
00:53:07,226 --> 00:53:08,143
Action.
1055
00:53:08,227 --> 00:53:09,353
Hi, I'm Dan Marino.
1056
00:53:09,436 --> 00:53:12,272
And if anyone knows
the value of protection, it's me.
1057
00:53:12,690 --> 00:53:14,566
- [TIRES SCREECH]
- [SIRENS BLARING]
1058
00:53:18,529 --> 00:53:21,156
So I take care of the hands
that take care of me...
1059
00:53:21,240 --> 00:53:22,616
[FOOTBALL PLAYERS GRUNT]
1060
00:53:22,700 --> 00:53:24,076
With Isotoner gloves.
1061
00:53:24,159 --> 00:53:25,828
DIRECTOR:
Cut. Again from the top.
1062
00:53:25,911 --> 00:53:27,162
I said cut.
1063
00:53:27,246 --> 00:53:28,622
Guys, it's a cut.
1064
00:53:28,706 --> 00:53:30,332
DIRECTOR:
What the hell are they doing?
1065
00:53:30,416 --> 00:53:31,458
MAN: Hey, guys!
1066
00:53:31,542 --> 00:53:32,835
DIRECTOR: That's a cut!
1067
00:53:32,918 --> 00:53:34,461
- Guys, that's a cut!
- OFFICER: Paul, Hank, let's go!
1068
00:53:38,132 --> 00:53:39,299
What is this, a rewrite?
1069
00:53:39,383 --> 00:53:40,718
Shut up!
1070
00:53:40,801 --> 00:53:42,594
[UPBEAT MUSIC CONTINUES]
1071
00:53:45,180 --> 00:53:46,265
OFFICER 1: Where'd they go?
1072
00:53:46,348 --> 00:53:47,599
- OFFICER 2: Over there.
- Let's go!
1073
00:53:49,393 --> 00:53:50,394
[TIRES SCREECH]
1074
00:53:50,477 --> 00:53:52,104
[OFFICERS SHOUTING INDISTINCTLY]
1075
00:53:54,940 --> 00:53:56,650
Excuse me, gentlemen.
1076
00:53:56,734 --> 00:53:57,985
Pet detective.
1077
00:53:59,153 --> 00:54:01,196
[TIRES SCREECH, ENGINE REVS]
1078
00:54:01,280 --> 00:54:02,740
[HORN HONKING]
1079
00:54:04,366 --> 00:54:05,868
[GUN FIRING]
1080
00:54:06,827 --> 00:54:07,828
ACE: Come on!
1081
00:54:07,911 --> 00:54:09,329
What's wrong with you?
1082
00:54:09,413 --> 00:54:10,956
Can't you hit me?
1083
00:54:11,331 --> 00:54:12,124
[GUN FIRES]
1084
00:54:17,296 --> 00:54:18,672
[GUN FIRES]
1085
00:54:22,176 --> 00:54:23,427
[PEOPLE SHOUT]
1086
00:54:34,271 --> 00:54:35,147
Whew!
1087
00:54:35,230 --> 00:54:36,815
[ENGINE STUTTERS]
1088
00:54:37,316 --> 00:54:38,317
[CLAMORING]
1089
00:54:38,400 --> 00:54:40,194
REPORTER 1: Lieutenant, have
there been any ransom demands?
1090
00:54:40,277 --> 00:54:43,071
There's been no communication
with the kidnappers at this time.
1091
00:54:43,155 --> 00:54:45,115
REPORTER 2: What's gonna happen with
the Super Bowl, will it be postponed?
1092
00:54:45,199 --> 00:54:46,867
As of now,
the game is on as scheduled.
1093
00:54:46,950 --> 00:54:48,035
REPORTER 1:
Why wasn't the public told
1094
00:54:48,118 --> 00:54:49,119
about Snowflake's kidnapping?
1095
00:54:49,203 --> 00:54:50,370
EINHORN: Secrecy was essential.
1096
00:54:50,454 --> 00:54:52,080
We couldn't risk
any public interference.
1097
00:54:52,164 --> 00:54:53,457
REPORTER 2:
Are the crimes related?
1098
00:54:53,540 --> 00:54:55,000
And what about
Roger Podacter's murder?
1099
00:54:55,083 --> 00:54:56,585
I'm sorry, I can't comment further.
1100
00:54:56,668 --> 00:54:58,086
Now, if you'll excuse me.
1101
00:54:58,170 --> 00:54:59,755
[REPORTERS CLAMORING]
1102
00:54:59,838 --> 00:55:00,672
[DOOR SLAMS]
1103
00:55:00,756 --> 00:55:03,175
Emilio, get me
the autopsy on Podacter.
1104
00:55:03,258 --> 00:55:04,301
Aguado, send out a memo--
1105
00:55:04,384 --> 00:55:05,552
No one talks to the press.
1106
00:55:05,636 --> 00:55:06,637
AGUADO: Yes, ma'am.
1107
00:55:06,720 --> 00:55:08,514
And somebody get me some coffee!
1108
00:55:09,014 --> 00:55:10,933
Tonight on Miami Vice,
1109
00:55:11,016 --> 00:55:13,227
Crockett gets the boss a coffee.
1110
00:55:13,310 --> 00:55:16,313
Ventura, when I get out
of that bathroom,
1111
00:55:16,396 --> 00:55:17,981
you better be gone!
1112
00:55:19,066 --> 00:55:21,068
ACE: Is it number one
or number two?
1113
00:55:21,443 --> 00:55:23,570
I just wanna know
how much time I have.
1114
00:55:24,613 --> 00:55:25,572
Hey, uh,
1115
00:55:25,656 --> 00:55:26,532
by the way,
1116
00:55:26,615 --> 00:55:28,700
I went ahead and solved that
1117
00:55:28,784 --> 00:55:31,495
pesky Snowflake-Podacter-Marino thing.
1118
00:55:31,578 --> 00:55:32,621
EINHORN: Oh, yeah?
1119
00:55:32,704 --> 00:55:35,040
Yeah, you ever heard of
a former Dolphin kicker
1120
00:55:35,123 --> 00:55:36,083
named Ray Finkle?
1121
00:55:43,048 --> 00:55:44,925
Alright, Ventura.
1122
00:55:46,093 --> 00:55:47,344
Make it quick.
1123
00:55:47,678 --> 00:55:49,429
I found a rare stone
1124
00:55:49,513 --> 00:55:51,056
at the bottom
of Snowflake's tank.
1125
00:55:51,139 --> 00:55:54,059
It belongs to a Dolphin
'84 AFC championship ring.
1126
00:55:54,142 --> 00:55:55,853
It would've been
a Super Bowl ring,
1127
00:55:55,936 --> 00:55:57,312
but Ray Finkle
missed the big kick.
1128
00:55:57,396 --> 00:55:59,439
Blames the whole thing on Marino.
1129
00:55:59,523 --> 00:56:02,568
We're talking paranoid
delusional psychosis.
1130
00:56:02,651 --> 00:56:04,194
I saw the guy's room.
1131
00:56:04,278 --> 00:56:06,738
Cozy, if you're Hannibal Lecter.
1132
00:56:07,573 --> 00:56:09,867
So how does
Roger Podacter fit in?
1133
00:56:10,367 --> 00:56:11,743
My guess is...
1134
00:56:11,827 --> 00:56:14,329
Finkle was snooping around,
Podacter recognized him.
1135
00:56:14,413 --> 00:56:15,330
End of story.
1136
00:56:15,414 --> 00:56:16,665
As for Snowflake,
1137
00:56:16,748 --> 00:56:17,791
they gave him Finkle's number,
1138
00:56:17,875 --> 00:56:19,334
taught him how
to kick a field goal.
1139
00:56:20,168 --> 00:56:21,670
Finkle took it personally.
1140
00:56:24,464 --> 00:56:26,383
So where's Finkle now?
1141
00:56:26,466 --> 00:56:28,135
Busted out of a mental institute.
1142
00:56:28,218 --> 00:56:31,054
Did a Claude Raines.
He's been plotting his revenge for years,
1143
00:56:31,138 --> 00:56:32,764
waiting for the perfect time
1144
00:56:32,848 --> 00:56:33,974
to get back at the Dolphins--
1145
00:56:34,057 --> 00:56:35,809
The time when it would
hurt them the most--
1146
00:56:35,893 --> 00:56:38,395
Super Bowl time!
1147
00:56:38,478 --> 00:56:40,355
Man, I'm tired of being right.
1148
00:56:45,152 --> 00:56:46,612
Congratulations.
1149
00:56:48,030 --> 00:56:50,532
You've done some
fine detective work.
1150
00:56:52,701 --> 00:56:53,911
Ace.
1151
00:56:55,704 --> 00:56:58,665
I'm sorry. Could you
speak into my good ear?
1152
00:56:58,749 --> 00:57:00,626
I thought I heard
you call me Ace.
1153
00:57:01,209 --> 00:57:03,337
Maybe I was wrong about you.
1154
00:57:03,420 --> 00:57:05,797
Maybe you are more
than just a pet dick.
1155
00:57:06,131 --> 00:57:08,008
[ROMANTIC MUSIC]
1156
00:57:14,097 --> 00:57:16,975
Your gun is digging
into my hip.
1157
00:57:17,059 --> 00:57:18,644
What's wrong, Ace,
1158
00:57:18,727 --> 00:57:20,354
want me to read you
your rights?
1159
00:57:20,437 --> 00:57:22,064
[ACE GROANS]
1160
00:57:22,147 --> 00:57:23,565
Maybe later.
1161
00:57:26,860 --> 00:57:28,236
What is it,
1162
00:57:28,320 --> 00:57:31,406
that bony little bitch
Melissa Robinson?
1163
00:57:31,490 --> 00:57:32,449
No.
1164
00:57:32,532 --> 00:57:34,159
You just don't do
anything for me.
1165
00:57:35,494 --> 00:57:36,787
[IMITATING BULLWHIP]
Down, boy!
1166
00:57:36,870 --> 00:57:37,996
[KNOCK ON DOOR]
1167
00:57:39,539 --> 00:57:40,916
Everything okay in here?
1168
00:57:40,999 --> 00:57:42,042
I heard some commotion.
1169
00:57:42,626 --> 00:57:44,127
Fine, sergeant.
1170
00:57:44,670 --> 00:57:46,213
You want me to throw him out?
1171
00:57:46,964 --> 00:57:49,549
Why don't you throw yourself out?
1172
00:57:51,635 --> 00:57:53,053
Yes, ma'am.
1173
00:57:54,763 --> 00:57:55,973
[DOOR SHUTS]
1174
00:57:56,056 --> 00:57:59,267
Ace, I want you to leave
everything to us.
1175
00:57:59,351 --> 00:58:00,978
I can't do that, lieutenant.
1176
00:58:01,061 --> 00:58:02,688
I was hired to find Snowflake.
1177
00:58:02,771 --> 00:58:04,815
When we find Marino,
1178
00:58:04,898 --> 00:58:07,192
we'll deliver Snowflake.
1179
00:58:07,275 --> 00:58:08,694
When I find Snowflake...
1180
00:58:10,237 --> 00:58:11,947
[WHISPERING] I'll deliver Marino.
1181
00:58:16,159 --> 00:58:18,328
[TIRES SQUEAL, ENGINE REVS]
1182
00:58:20,455 --> 00:58:21,373
[BARKS]
1183
00:58:21,456 --> 00:58:24,418
[KNOCKING]
1184
00:58:24,501 --> 00:58:25,836
ACE: Melissa, it's Ace.
1185
00:58:25,919 --> 00:58:28,714
Ace, what are you doing here?
It's the middle of the night.
1186
00:58:29,464 --> 00:58:31,133
You have to commit me.
1187
00:58:31,925 --> 00:58:33,427
- [CLASSICAL MUSIC]
- ACE: Finkle escaped from
1188
00:58:33,510 --> 00:58:34,845
Shady Acres in Tampa.
1189
00:58:34,928 --> 00:58:36,179
They still have some of his stuff.
1190
00:58:36,263 --> 00:58:38,932
MELISSA: Ace, they're not just
gonna let us waltz in and look around.
1191
00:58:39,016 --> 00:58:43,145
ACE: I know. It's a good thing
I'm a master of disguise.
1192
00:58:43,228 --> 00:58:44,730
DOCTOR: Mrs. Robinson.
1193
00:58:44,813 --> 00:58:46,857
- I'm Dr. Handly.
- Hi.
1194
00:58:46,940 --> 00:58:49,443
Now, who is it you'd
like us to have a look at?
1195
00:58:49,526 --> 00:58:51,445
My brother...
1196
00:58:51,528 --> 00:58:52,821
Larry.
1197
00:58:56,908 --> 00:58:58,326
I'm ready to go in, coach.
1198
00:58:58,410 --> 00:58:59,911
Just give me a chance.
1199
00:58:59,995 --> 00:59:01,413
I know there's
a lot riding on it,
1200
00:59:01,496 --> 00:59:02,831
but it's all psychological.
1201
00:59:02,914 --> 00:59:05,125
Just gotta stay in
a positive frame of mind.
1202
00:59:06,752 --> 00:59:08,378
I'm gonna execute
a button-hook pattern
1203
00:59:08,462 --> 00:59:09,504
super slow-mo.
1204
00:59:11,465 --> 00:59:14,342
[EXAGGERATED GRUNTING]
1205
00:59:38,116 --> 00:59:40,535
Let's see that
in an instant replay.
1206
00:59:40,619 --> 00:59:42,954
[GRUNTING CONTINUES]
1207
00:59:46,583 --> 00:59:48,752
[IMITATING SPEECH
PLAYING BACKWARDS ON REPLAY]
1208
00:59:56,510 --> 00:59:58,136
Your brother won't be the first
1209
00:59:58,220 --> 01:00:00,097
professional football player
we've treated.
1210
01:00:00,180 --> 01:00:02,933
- Is that right?
- Yes. We're very sensitive
1211
01:00:03,016 --> 01:00:05,811
to the emotional stress
that athletes have to endure.
1212
01:00:05,894 --> 01:00:07,521
ACE: I'm open! I'm open!
1213
01:00:08,522 --> 01:00:10,065
I'm open!
1214
01:00:11,024 --> 01:00:13,693
We'll have to do some
preliminary evaluations,
1215
01:00:13,777 --> 01:00:16,113
but I think your brother
will fit in nicely here.
1216
01:00:16,196 --> 01:00:17,572
ACE: Over here!
1217
01:00:20,033 --> 01:00:22,202
Three-51!
1218
01:00:22,285 --> 01:00:23,995
Three-51!
1219
01:00:24,079 --> 01:00:26,456
Rover! Sit! Hut! Hut!
1220
01:00:28,291 --> 01:00:29,292
[BODY THUDS]
1221
01:00:29,376 --> 01:00:30,794
He seems to have
some difficulty
1222
01:00:30,877 --> 01:00:32,796
- letting go of the game.
- [ACE TRILLING]
1223
01:00:32,879 --> 01:00:34,965
Does he have a long history
of mental illness?
1224
01:00:36,466 --> 01:00:37,926
As long as I've known him.
1225
01:00:38,009 --> 01:00:38,885
Hm.
1226
01:00:40,220 --> 01:00:43,640
And this is one
of our therapy rooms.
1227
01:00:43,723 --> 01:00:47,394
And we do arts and crafts
out here in the courtyard.
1228
01:00:47,477 --> 01:00:49,437
And this is the storage room.
1229
01:00:49,521 --> 01:00:50,689
And down the hallway here--
1230
01:00:50,772 --> 01:00:51,690
[IMITATES WHISTLE]
1231
01:00:51,773 --> 01:00:52,774
Halftime!
1232
01:00:52,858 --> 01:00:55,235
[HUMMING MARCHING SONG]
1233
01:00:57,195 --> 01:00:59,156
[WATER SPLASHING]
1234
01:01:02,617 --> 01:01:03,535
[THUD]
1235
01:01:07,080 --> 01:01:09,541
He'll be fine there
by himself for the next...
1236
01:01:09,624 --> 01:01:10,667
20 minutes.
1237
01:01:12,544 --> 01:01:14,880
Well... why don't I show you
the dormitories then?
1238
01:01:14,963 --> 01:01:15,922
Great.
1239
01:01:16,381 --> 01:01:19,801
WOMAN [ON PA]: Dr. Hyer,
please call the page operator.
1240
01:01:19,885 --> 01:01:22,679
Dr. Hyer, please call
the page operator.
1241
01:01:22,762 --> 01:01:24,431
[SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC]
1242
01:01:58,715 --> 01:02:01,635
[BUBBLE WRAP POPPING]
1243
01:02:11,269 --> 01:02:13,813
[RUSTLING]
1244
01:02:20,570 --> 01:02:21,863
"Finkle."
1245
01:02:26,534 --> 01:02:28,245
Isotoners.
1246
01:02:34,542 --> 01:02:36,253
Whew.
1247
01:02:47,639 --> 01:02:49,975
Obsess much?
1248
01:02:51,726 --> 01:02:53,395
ORDERLY 1:
Hey, hey, where you going now?
1249
01:02:53,478 --> 01:02:55,063
ORDERLY 2: I'm going to
clean the storage room.
1250
01:02:55,146 --> 01:02:56,856
ORDERLY 1: No, no, no.
You're supposed to clean the cafeteria.
1251
01:02:56,940 --> 01:02:59,067
ORDERLY 2: Look here,
I don't tell you how to do your job.
1252
01:02:59,150 --> 01:03:00,610
ORDERLY 1:
Look, it says here on the schedule
1253
01:03:00,694 --> 01:03:01,987
to clean the cafeteria.
1254
01:03:02,070 --> 01:03:03,822
ORDERLY 2: I know what I'm doing.
You understand that?
1255
01:03:03,905 --> 01:03:05,991
ORDERLY 1: You should've
cleaned it earlier. Come on.
1256
01:03:06,074 --> 01:03:08,576
ORDERLY 2: Look, cafeteria my ass.
I'm cleaning in here.
1257
01:03:08,660 --> 01:03:11,079
ORDERLY 1: No, no, you take breaks
too long. You smoke--
1258
01:03:11,162 --> 01:03:13,248
ORDERLY 2:
Man, you're a pain in the ass.
1259
01:03:17,711 --> 01:03:19,587
[PANTING]
1260
01:03:33,351 --> 01:03:36,062
[SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC]
1261
01:03:36,146 --> 01:03:38,440
"Search called off
for missing hiker.
1262
01:03:38,940 --> 01:03:40,942
"A massive search ended today
1263
01:03:41,026 --> 01:03:43,653
"when rescue workers
were unable to find the body
1264
01:03:43,737 --> 01:03:45,780
"of Lois Einhorn...
1265
01:03:47,073 --> 01:03:49,326
a hiker missing since Friday."
1266
01:03:49,409 --> 01:03:51,036
Lois Einhorn?
1267
01:03:52,412 --> 01:03:55,123
Holy shitballs!
1268
01:03:56,249 --> 01:03:58,543
[CHATTERING INDISTINCTLY]
1269
01:03:58,626 --> 01:03:59,627
[HONKS]
1270
01:04:08,928 --> 01:04:10,138
EINHORN:
What are you doing out here?
1271
01:04:10,221 --> 01:04:11,306
Get back to work.
1272
01:04:11,389 --> 01:04:12,599
OFFICER:
Sorry, lieutenant.
1273
01:04:14,434 --> 01:04:15,810
[ENGINE STARTS]
1274
01:04:21,066 --> 01:04:22,942
[SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC]
1275
01:04:40,752 --> 01:04:42,170
EMILIO: "Love, Roger"?
1276
01:04:48,218 --> 01:04:49,469
[DOG WHIMPERS]
1277
01:04:49,552 --> 01:04:50,637
[ANSWERING MACHINE CLICKS]
1278
01:04:50,720 --> 01:04:52,222
EMILIO [ON PHONE]:
Yo, Ace. It's E.
1279
01:04:52,305 --> 01:04:54,391
You think the article that
you found was something?
1280
01:04:54,474 --> 01:04:55,600
Check this out.
1281
01:04:55,683 --> 01:04:58,311
I got a note from
Podacter to Einhorn,
1282
01:04:58,395 --> 01:05:00,814
thanking her for
a wonderful Saturday evening.
1283
01:05:00,897 --> 01:05:03,274
Something ain't stirring
the Kool-Aid, man.
1284
01:05:03,358 --> 01:05:05,193
- [MACHINE BEEPS]
- Wiggles, rewind.
1285
01:05:10,031 --> 01:05:11,741
What the hell does Lois Einhorn
1286
01:05:11,825 --> 01:05:13,243
have to do with Ray Finkle?
1287
01:05:14,869 --> 01:05:16,621
Come on, think!
1288
01:05:16,704 --> 01:05:19,165
Finkle and Einhorn
in it together. How?
1289
01:05:19,249 --> 01:05:20,417
Why?
1290
01:05:26,840 --> 01:05:28,550
All right, here we go.
1291
01:05:28,633 --> 01:05:29,926
Answer's right there.
1292
01:05:30,009 --> 01:05:31,636
Just gotta get
some blood to the brain.
1293
01:05:32,554 --> 01:05:33,555
Finkle and Einhorn.
1294
01:05:33,638 --> 01:05:35,473
Finkle and Einhorn.
Finkle and Einhorn.
1295
01:05:35,557 --> 01:05:37,976
Finkle and Einhorn, Finkle
and Einhorn, Finkle and Einhorn.
1296
01:05:38,059 --> 01:05:39,769
Finkle, Einhorn.
Finkle, Finkle.
1297
01:05:39,853 --> 01:05:41,229
F-f-f-f-f-f-f.
1298
01:05:41,604 --> 01:05:44,232
Einhorn and Finkle.
1299
01:05:44,315 --> 01:05:46,985
Finkle and Einhorn.
1300
01:05:51,948 --> 01:05:53,783
- Quitter!
- [SNORING]
1301
01:05:55,493 --> 01:05:57,120
What do you want?
1302
01:05:57,203 --> 01:05:58,079
Huh?
1303
01:05:58,997 --> 01:06:01,374
I don't have any food for you.
1304
01:06:01,458 --> 01:06:04,836
I have to have money
to buy food.
1305
01:06:04,919 --> 01:06:06,504
I have to have a dolphin
to get the money.
1306
01:06:06,588 --> 01:06:08,548
I don't see a dolphin
around here, do you?
1307
01:06:11,551 --> 01:06:12,886
[SIGHS]
1308
01:06:16,598 --> 01:06:18,141
Let's face it.
1309
01:06:18,224 --> 01:06:20,268
Your master is a loser.
1310
01:06:21,769 --> 01:06:24,355
Loo... hoo...
1311
01:06:37,452 --> 01:06:38,995
What the...
1312
01:06:39,078 --> 01:06:41,080
[UPBEAT ELECTRONIC MUSIC]
1313
01:06:41,164 --> 01:06:42,874
That's it.
1314
01:06:45,418 --> 01:06:47,128
That's it.
1315
01:06:47,212 --> 01:06:49,964
Einhorn is Finkle.
1316
01:06:50,048 --> 01:06:52,467
Finkle is Einhorn!
1317
01:06:52,550 --> 01:06:54,552
Einhorn is a man!
1318
01:06:56,513 --> 01:06:58,890
Oh, my God!
1319
01:06:58,973 --> 01:07:00,934
Einhorn is a man?
1320
01:07:01,017 --> 01:07:02,519
[DISGUSTED GRUNTS]
1321
01:07:02,936 --> 01:07:06,523
[RETCHING]
1322
01:07:06,606 --> 01:07:08,650
[MUSIC CONTINUES]
1323
01:07:16,824 --> 01:07:18,326
[RETCHING]
1324
01:07:25,333 --> 01:07:28,336
[GROANING]
1325
01:07:28,419 --> 01:07:30,713
[SOBBING]
1326
01:07:35,134 --> 01:07:36,427
No!
1327
01:07:38,471 --> 01:07:40,014
No!
1328
01:07:40,098 --> 01:07:41,224
No...
1329
01:07:56,614 --> 01:07:58,157
[ENGINE STARTS]
1330
01:07:58,241 --> 01:08:00,368
"Your gun is digging
into my hip."
1331
01:08:00,451 --> 01:08:02,662
Oh, God!
1332
01:08:04,414 --> 01:08:06,916
ANNOUNCER 1 [ON TV]: And the big
story in this Super Bowl game,
1333
01:08:07,000 --> 01:08:09,752
just moments away,
is the abduction of Miami's
1334
01:08:09,836 --> 01:08:12,297
starting quarterback,
number 13, Dan Marino.
1335
01:08:12,380 --> 01:08:14,757
ANNOUNCER 2: It's got to be
a strain on this Miami team, Bob.
1336
01:08:14,841 --> 01:08:16,634
[MEN GRUNTING]
1337
01:08:19,220 --> 01:08:20,013
[MEN SHOUT]
1338
01:08:23,683 --> 01:08:24,851
[BRAKES SQUEAK]
1339
01:08:24,934 --> 01:08:27,186
[INTRIGUING MUSIC]
1340
01:08:35,028 --> 01:08:37,572
[CAR APPROACHING]
1341
01:08:46,289 --> 01:08:48,166
[MUSIC CONTINUES]
1342
01:08:52,629 --> 01:08:54,172
[CHEERING, CHATTER ON TV]
1343
01:08:54,255 --> 01:08:55,673
EINHORN:
What's the matter, Dan?
1344
01:08:55,757 --> 01:08:57,675
Aren't you having fun?
1345
01:08:57,759 --> 01:08:59,969
I just love Super Bowl Sunday.
1346
01:09:00,053 --> 01:09:01,679
Don't you, Dan?
1347
01:09:01,763 --> 01:09:04,349
A magical afternoon,
1348
01:09:04,432 --> 01:09:06,309
where dreams are made...
1349
01:09:07,226 --> 01:09:09,520
- [GRUNTS]
- And crushed.
1350
01:09:09,604 --> 01:09:11,522
Look, lady,
if you want tickets,
1351
01:09:11,606 --> 01:09:13,066
you're going about it
the wrong way.
1352
01:09:13,149 --> 01:09:14,484
[DAN GROANING]
1353
01:09:14,567 --> 01:09:17,403
EINHORN:
Do I look familiar to you, Dan?
1354
01:09:17,487 --> 01:09:20,657
Does it seem as if we've
met someplace before?
1355
01:09:21,115 --> 01:09:23,660
I--I don't know.
I get hit in the head a lot.
1356
01:09:24,285 --> 01:09:26,120
ANNOUNCER 1:
Now the coin toss.
1357
01:09:27,038 --> 01:09:28,289
EINHORN: Kickoff time--
1358
01:09:29,207 --> 01:09:30,667
My favorite thing.
1359
01:09:30,750 --> 01:09:34,629
ANNOUNCER 2: Bob, it looks like
Philadelphia has elected to kick off!
1360
01:09:34,712 --> 01:09:37,382
That just shows
that their defense...
1361
01:09:37,465 --> 01:09:39,717
EINHORN: Laces out.
1362
01:09:39,801 --> 01:09:41,177
With Marino out,
1363
01:09:41,260 --> 01:09:43,137
they're going to be
putting a lot of pressure
1364
01:09:43,221 --> 01:09:44,764
on this young
replacement quarterback.
1365
01:09:44,847 --> 01:09:47,475
[TENSE MUSIC]
1366
01:09:47,558 --> 01:09:49,268
- And there's the kick.
- [FOOTBALL CRASHING]
1367
01:09:49,352 --> 01:09:51,729
This year's Super Bowl
is underway!
1368
01:09:51,813 --> 01:09:53,690
[INTRIGUING MUSIC]
1369
01:09:58,820 --> 01:10:01,698
I made some refreshments, Dan.
1370
01:10:03,241 --> 01:10:05,535
Would you like
some refreshments, Dan?
1371
01:10:06,953 --> 01:10:09,205
I'll be right back...
1372
01:10:09,288 --> 01:10:10,581
- Dan.
- [DAN GRUNTS]
1373
01:10:10,665 --> 01:10:12,291
[ROMANTIC MUSIC]
1374
01:10:20,675 --> 01:10:22,552
[INTRIGUING MUSIC]
1375
01:10:28,766 --> 01:10:29,892
[WATER BUBBLES]
1376
01:10:33,938 --> 01:10:35,273
MAN: And it was his wife.
1377
01:10:35,356 --> 01:10:37,233
[MEN LAUGHING]
1378
01:10:39,193 --> 01:10:41,654
Hey, guys, I don't know how much
psychowoman's paying you,
1379
01:10:41,738 --> 01:10:43,281
but I'll double it.
1380
01:10:43,364 --> 01:10:46,367
Hey, sorry, Danny boy,
psychowoman keeps us out of prison.
1381
01:10:47,869 --> 01:10:49,912
Here, Snowflake.
Here you go. Come on.
1382
01:10:49,996 --> 01:10:51,581
MAN 2: Check it out, Marino.
1383
01:10:51,664 --> 01:10:54,584
I'm throwing passes
to a dolphin.
1384
01:10:55,752 --> 01:10:57,253
[LAUGHS]
1385
01:10:58,379 --> 01:11:00,590
Hey, you're better than Marino.
1386
01:11:02,925 --> 01:11:05,178
[SNOWFLAKE CLICKING]
1387
01:11:05,595 --> 01:11:07,054
Go get some more fish.
1388
01:11:07,722 --> 01:11:09,265
I ought to kill that dolphin.
1389
01:11:10,349 --> 01:11:12,351
[IMITATING SEAN CONNERY]
Lovely party.
1390
01:11:12,435 --> 01:11:14,103
Pity I wasn't invited.
1391
01:11:26,491 --> 01:11:28,242
Where the hell's the smelt?
1392
01:11:29,243 --> 01:11:30,787
- [CLANG]
- [GRUNTS]
1393
01:11:31,954 --> 01:11:33,039
[BODY THUDS]
1394
01:11:35,458 --> 01:11:36,542
Hm...
1395
01:11:36,626 --> 01:11:37,627
Unconscious--
1396
01:11:37,710 --> 01:11:39,337
Exactly as I planned.
1397
01:11:39,420 --> 01:11:41,255
[LAUGHING]
1398
01:11:41,339 --> 01:11:42,632
[GROWLS]
1399
01:11:42,715 --> 01:11:43,591
[BARKS]
1400
01:11:45,134 --> 01:11:48,346
Hey, Roc,
what the hell was that?
1401
01:11:48,429 --> 01:11:49,639
[GUN COCKS]
1402
01:11:59,273 --> 01:12:00,691
Oh, shit!
1403
01:12:06,739 --> 01:12:07,907
What the hell happened?
1404
01:12:07,990 --> 01:12:09,575
Hey, what's going on?
1405
01:12:09,659 --> 01:12:11,536
- Are you okay?
- Yeah.
1406
01:12:11,619 --> 01:12:12,954
Guess what, boys?
1407
01:12:13,037 --> 01:12:14,288
It's nap time.
1408
01:12:16,415 --> 01:12:18,626
- [SMASHING]
- Oh, what a hit.
1409
01:12:18,709 --> 01:12:21,170
Did Herschel Walker ever
take a hit on the...
1410
01:12:21,254 --> 01:12:22,630
ACE: Heads up!
1411
01:12:25,675 --> 01:12:26,676
Hi, Dan.
1412
01:12:28,970 --> 01:12:30,096
Who are you?
1413
01:12:31,264 --> 01:12:32,849
Ace Ventura, pet detective,
1414
01:12:32,932 --> 01:12:34,767
I've been sent in
with a special play--
1415
01:12:34,851 --> 01:12:36,143
The quarterback sneak.
1416
01:12:36,936 --> 01:12:37,770
[COCKS GUN]
1417
01:12:37,854 --> 01:12:39,188
Penalty...
1418
01:12:39,272 --> 01:12:41,524
Too many men on the field.
1419
01:12:42,400 --> 01:12:44,485
I warned you, Ventura.
1420
01:12:45,111 --> 01:12:46,988
Whatever happened to Ace?
1421
01:12:47,071 --> 01:12:48,948
Good question.
1422
01:12:49,282 --> 01:12:51,158
Be careful with
that phone, lieutenant.
1423
01:12:51,242 --> 01:12:53,411
In time,
you could develop a tumor.
1424
01:12:53,995 --> 01:12:57,123
Aguado,
it's Lieutenant Einhorn.
1425
01:12:57,206 --> 01:12:59,834
Send some men over to
the Hallandale Yacht Basin
1426
01:12:59,917 --> 01:13:01,335
on Victoria Road.
1427
01:13:01,419 --> 01:13:03,713
I've got the kidnapper
trapped in the warehouse.
1428
01:13:03,796 --> 01:13:06,757
It's Ace Ventura, pet detective.
1429
01:13:07,884 --> 01:13:10,303
- [SIRENS BLARING, TIRES SCREECH]
- [OFFICERS SHOUTING]
1430
01:13:10,386 --> 01:13:13,723
WOMAN [ON RADIO]: Code 11
in progress, 343 Victorville road
1431
01:13:13,806 --> 01:13:15,349
at the old Hallandale Yacht Basin.
1432
01:13:15,433 --> 01:13:16,851
Officer needs backup.
1433
01:13:16,934 --> 01:13:19,061
Suspect's name--
Ace Ventura, male Caucasian.
1434
01:13:19,145 --> 01:13:21,480
Should be considered
armed and dangerous.
1435
01:13:22,398 --> 01:13:24,734
It's Ace.
We gotta break out of here.
1436
01:13:25,234 --> 01:13:27,445
[CHEERING, WHISTLE BLOWS]
1437
01:13:27,528 --> 01:13:29,363
MELISSA: Emilio, is he in trouble?
1438
01:13:29,447 --> 01:13:31,657
EMILIO: Don't worry.
If there's one thing I know,
1439
01:13:31,741 --> 01:13:34,035
there's nothing
Ace can't handle.
1440
01:13:34,410 --> 01:13:37,663
[SOBBING]
Don't kill me.
1441
01:13:38,706 --> 01:13:39,790
Please.
1442
01:13:40,833 --> 01:13:43,127
I'll never tell anyone. I swear.
1443
01:13:43,210 --> 01:13:45,046
He's the one you want.
Kill him!
1444
01:13:45,129 --> 01:13:46,172
No, no. Kill him!
1445
01:13:46,255 --> 01:13:47,632
- No, kill him!
- Kill him, kill him!
1446
01:13:47,715 --> 01:13:49,050
- He held the ball, remember?
- He's the detective.
1447
01:13:49,133 --> 01:13:50,843
- Come on! Look at the guy--
- [GUN FIRES]
1448
01:13:50,927 --> 01:13:52,178
- Crybaby.
- Jock.
1449
01:13:52,261 --> 01:13:53,346
- Wimp!
- Musclehead.
1450
01:13:53,429 --> 01:13:54,931
Shut up!
1451
01:13:55,014 --> 01:13:57,516
I think I'll kill the dolphin first.
1452
01:13:57,600 --> 01:13:59,477
I wouldn't want you
to miss that.
1453
01:14:00,436 --> 01:14:03,439
ANNOUNCER 1:
And there's the snap, the kick,
1454
01:14:03,522 --> 01:14:05,566
and it's good! Miami...
1455
01:14:05,650 --> 01:14:08,402
Good to see somebody who
doesn't buckle under the pressure.
1456
01:14:08,945 --> 01:14:10,363
[COCKS GUN]
1457
01:14:13,616 --> 01:14:17,787
What would you know
about pressure?
1458
01:14:18,162 --> 01:14:21,332
Well, I have kissed a man.
1459
01:14:21,707 --> 01:14:24,460
ANNOUNCER 1: Of course,
there's never been a more crucial kick
1460
01:14:24,543 --> 01:14:25,711
in a Super Bowl
1461
01:14:25,795 --> 01:14:29,090
than the famous
"kick heard 'round the world."
1462
01:14:29,173 --> 01:14:31,926
I mean, it's clear to me
that it was a good hold.
1463
01:14:32,009 --> 01:14:33,719
Finkle just booted it.
1464
01:14:35,262 --> 01:14:36,764
The laces were in!
1465
01:14:37,306 --> 01:14:38,724
They were in!
1466
01:14:38,808 --> 01:14:40,518
- [GUN FIRES, TV SMASHES]
- [ACE GRUNTS]
1467
01:14:40,601 --> 01:14:42,895
- [ROCK MUSIC]
- [BOTH GRUNTING]
1468
01:14:44,355 --> 01:14:46,273
[BOTH GRUNTING]
1469
01:14:49,360 --> 01:14:50,444
[ACE GROANS]
1470
01:14:51,779 --> 01:14:52,822
[YELLS]
1471
01:14:52,905 --> 01:14:53,698
- [THUDS]
- [SCREAMS]
1472
01:14:59,328 --> 01:15:00,496
Oh, you like that?
1473
01:15:00,579 --> 01:15:02,373
- [YELLS]
- You like that?
1474
01:15:02,456 --> 01:15:04,333
[EINHORN YELLING]
1475
01:15:06,585 --> 01:15:07,837
And that...
1476
01:15:07,920 --> 01:15:08,671
and that...
1477
01:15:08,754 --> 01:15:09,755
and that!
1478
01:15:11,507 --> 01:15:13,134
[GUN CLATTERS]
1479
01:15:15,094 --> 01:15:16,053
[GRUNTS]
1480
01:15:18,931 --> 01:15:20,182
[ACE GRUNTS]
1481
01:15:20,266 --> 01:15:21,851
Having a little trouble
with the lady, Ace?
1482
01:15:21,934 --> 01:15:22,852
[BREATHING HEAVILY]
1483
01:15:22,935 --> 01:15:24,020
You don't understand.
1484
01:15:24,103 --> 01:15:25,438
She's a...
1485
01:15:25,521 --> 01:15:26,397
[EINHORN GRUNTS]
1486
01:15:26,856 --> 01:15:28,816
[BOTH GRUNTING]
1487
01:15:28,899 --> 01:15:30,568
Get him, Lois. Get him!
1488
01:15:30,651 --> 01:15:33,779
- [BOTH GRUNTING]
- [ROCK MUSIC CONTINUES]
1489
01:15:33,863 --> 01:15:36,073
[OFFICERS MUTTERING INDISTINCTLY]
1490
01:15:37,366 --> 01:15:39,201
- [SHOUTS]
- [CLATTERS]
1491
01:15:39,285 --> 01:15:40,494
Yeah!
1492
01:15:42,955 --> 01:15:44,248
Shoot him!
1493
01:15:44,331 --> 01:15:46,000
[GUNS COCKING]
1494
01:15:46,083 --> 01:15:47,126
Shoot him!
1495
01:15:47,209 --> 01:15:48,544
EMILIO: Hold your fire!
1496
01:15:49,712 --> 01:15:51,047
Don't shoot!
1497
01:15:51,130 --> 01:15:53,340
MELISSA: Put your guns
down or this cop gets it!
1498
01:15:54,216 --> 01:15:55,676
- I mean it!
- [GUN COCKS]
1499
01:15:56,093 --> 01:15:57,845
EMILIO: She's not joking!
1500
01:15:57,928 --> 01:16:00,014
He kidnapped Snowflake!
1501
01:16:00,097 --> 01:16:01,807
- [STICK WHOOSHING]
- He killed Roger Podacter!
1502
01:16:01,891 --> 01:16:04,143
And he was just about to
kill Dan Marino and me!
1503
01:16:04,226 --> 01:16:05,227
[STICK THUDS, CLATTERS]
1504
01:16:05,311 --> 01:16:07,688
Ha-ha-ho!
1505
01:16:07,772 --> 01:16:10,524
Fiction can be fun,
1506
01:16:10,608 --> 01:16:12,318
but I find the reference section
1507
01:16:12,401 --> 01:16:13,652
much more enlightening.
1508
01:16:13,736 --> 01:16:16,739
For instance,
if you were to look up
1509
01:16:16,822 --> 01:16:21,786
professional football's
all-time bonehead plays,
1510
01:16:21,869 --> 01:16:24,330
you might read about
a Miami Dolphin kicker
1511
01:16:24,413 --> 01:16:27,333
named Ray Finkle,
who missed a 26-yard field goal
1512
01:16:27,416 --> 01:16:29,919
in the closing seconds
of Super Bowl XVII.
1513
01:16:30,419 --> 01:16:32,963
[INHALES]
1514
01:16:33,047 --> 01:16:34,340
What you wouldn't read about
1515
01:16:34,423 --> 01:16:35,716
is how Ray Finkle lost his mind,
1516
01:16:35,800 --> 01:16:37,218
was committed
to a mental hospital,
1517
01:16:37,301 --> 01:16:38,886
only to escape
and join the police force
1518
01:16:38,969 --> 01:16:40,513
under the assumed identity
of a missing hiker,
1519
01:16:40,596 --> 01:16:41,889
manipulating his way to the top
1520
01:16:41,972 --> 01:16:43,974
in a diabolical scheme
to get even with Dan Marino,
1521
01:16:44,058 --> 01:16:45,559
whom he blamed
for the entire thing.
1522
01:16:45,643 --> 01:16:46,936
[INHALES]
1523
01:16:47,686 --> 01:16:49,271
What the hell
are you talking about?
1524
01:16:49,355 --> 01:16:51,357
She's not Lois Einhorn!
1525
01:16:51,440 --> 01:16:52,483
She's Ray Finkle.
1526
01:16:52,566 --> 01:16:53,943
She's a man.
1527
01:16:54,026 --> 01:16:55,236
He's lying!
1528
01:16:55,319 --> 01:16:56,529
Shoot him!
1529
01:16:58,280 --> 01:16:59,907
[CACKLING]
1530
01:16:59,990 --> 01:17:03,202
Let's just see
who's lying, shall we?
1531
01:17:03,285 --> 01:17:07,206
Would a real woman
have to wear one of these?
1532
01:17:07,289 --> 01:17:08,499
[GRUNTS]
1533
01:17:09,416 --> 01:17:11,377
[EINHORN GRUNTS, GROANS]
1534
01:17:13,170 --> 01:17:15,131
Boy, that's
really on there...
1535
01:17:15,631 --> 01:17:17,466
but tell me this.
1536
01:17:17,550 --> 01:17:19,552
Would a real woman...
1537
01:17:19,635 --> 01:17:21,178
be missing these?
1538
01:17:21,262 --> 01:17:22,138
[FABRIC TEARS]
1539
01:17:22,972 --> 01:17:24,765
[LAUGHS HYSTERICALLY]
1540
01:17:27,268 --> 01:17:29,979
That kind of surgery
can be done over the weekend!
1541
01:17:30,479 --> 01:17:32,606
But I doubt very much
1542
01:17:32,690 --> 01:17:34,233
if he could find the time
1543
01:17:34,316 --> 01:17:36,777
during his busy schedule
1544
01:17:36,861 --> 01:17:40,781
to get rid of big ol' Mr. Knish!
1545
01:17:40,865 --> 01:17:41,949
[FABRIC TEARS]
1546
01:17:47,830 --> 01:17:49,540
[TENSE MUSIC]
1547
01:17:49,623 --> 01:17:51,125
Oh, boy!
1548
01:17:51,208 --> 01:17:52,710
DAN: Psst!
1549
01:17:52,793 --> 01:17:53,794
Ace!
1550
01:17:53,878 --> 01:17:55,254
Come here.
1551
01:17:55,880 --> 01:17:58,340
Would you excuse me
for just one second?
1552
01:18:01,135 --> 01:18:03,012
[WHISPERING INDISTINCTLY]
1553
01:18:07,016 --> 01:18:09,226
Ladies and gentlemen,
1554
01:18:09,310 --> 01:18:13,272
my esteemed colleague
Mr. Marino
1555
01:18:13,355 --> 01:18:15,441
has just brought some
new evidence to my attention.
1556
01:18:15,524 --> 01:18:18,944
Now, history has certainly shown
1557
01:18:19,028 --> 01:18:22,406
that even the most
intuitive criminal investigator
1558
01:18:22,489 --> 01:18:24,074
can be wrong
from time to time,
1559
01:18:24,158 --> 01:18:26,076
but if I am mistaken,
1560
01:18:26,160 --> 01:18:29,788
if the lieutenant
is indeed a woman,
1561
01:18:29,872 --> 01:18:32,166
as she claims to be,
1562
01:18:32,249 --> 01:18:35,127
then my friend,
she is suffering
1563
01:18:35,211 --> 01:18:36,921
from the worst
case of hemorrhoids
1564
01:18:37,004 --> 01:18:39,256
I have ever seen!
1565
01:18:39,673 --> 01:18:41,967
That's why
Roger Podacter is dead!
1566
01:18:42,051 --> 01:18:44,178
He found Captain Winkie!
1567
01:18:44,845 --> 01:18:48,515
♪ I know all there is to know ♪
1568
01:18:48,599 --> 01:18:52,603
♪ About the crying game ♪
1569
01:18:52,686 --> 01:18:55,022
- [CLICKING]
- ACE: Good night, everybody.
1570
01:18:55,105 --> 01:18:56,857
You've been a wonderful
audience. I'll be here all week.
1571
01:18:56,941 --> 01:18:58,317
Be sure to tip your waitress.
1572
01:18:58,400 --> 01:19:00,527
[SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC]
1573
01:19:03,906 --> 01:19:06,659
Die, animal boy!
1574
01:19:06,742 --> 01:19:07,868
Quick decision.
1575
01:19:08,202 --> 01:19:09,620
[EINHORN YELLS]
1576
01:19:16,669 --> 01:19:19,046
[GROANS, PANTS]
1577
01:19:21,298 --> 01:19:22,508
[SHOUTS]
1578
01:19:28,722 --> 01:19:31,600
Loser!
1579
01:19:32,977 --> 01:19:34,853
[TRIUMPHANT MUSIC]
1580
01:19:36,647 --> 01:19:38,482
- Ace!
- Yeah, Dan?
1581
01:19:38,565 --> 01:19:40,109
Do you have
any more of that gum?
1582
01:19:40,192 --> 01:19:41,777
That's none of your
damn business.
1583
01:19:41,860 --> 01:19:44,154
And I'll thank you to stay out
of my personal affairs.
1584
01:19:45,072 --> 01:19:47,700
DAN: You're a weird guy,
Ace. Weird guy!
1585
01:19:49,535 --> 01:19:51,954
ANNOUNCER:
Ladies and gentlemen!
1586
01:19:52,037 --> 01:19:55,291
The Miami Dolphins
are proud to welcome back
1587
01:19:55,374 --> 01:19:56,875
to Joe Robbie stadium
1588
01:19:56,959 --> 01:19:58,752
our beloved mascot
1589
01:19:58,836 --> 01:20:01,714
and the star of our halftime show--
1590
01:20:01,797 --> 01:20:03,382
Snowflake!
1591
01:20:03,465 --> 01:20:04,925
[CROWD CHEERS]
1592
01:20:11,015 --> 01:20:14,018
And now, returning
for the second half,
1593
01:20:14,101 --> 01:20:17,104
the Miami Dolphins'
most valuable player--
1594
01:20:17,187 --> 01:20:18,981
Dan Marino!
1595
01:20:19,064 --> 01:20:20,858
[CROWD CHEERS]
1596
01:20:37,541 --> 01:20:39,418
[UPBEAT MUSIC]
1597
01:20:53,515 --> 01:20:56,226
- [DOVE COOING]
- Shh!
1598
01:20:57,603 --> 01:20:59,730
[COOING]
1599
01:21:01,440 --> 01:21:02,775
[IMITATES COOING]
1600
01:21:02,858 --> 01:21:05,027
[WINGS FLUTTERING]
1601
01:21:05,110 --> 01:21:07,112
- Idiot!
- What?
1602
01:21:07,196 --> 01:21:08,405
Do you realize you've just done?
1603
01:21:08,489 --> 01:21:11,950
You just cost me 25 grand, Polly.
1604
01:21:12,034 --> 01:21:14,119
Yeah? Blow me.
1605
01:21:15,162 --> 01:21:17,706
[CHUCKLING] Really.
1606
01:21:17,790 --> 01:21:19,666
[UPBEAT MUSIC]
1607
01:21:32,638 --> 01:21:34,348
ANNOUNCER:
The National Football League
1608
01:21:34,431 --> 01:21:37,351
would now like to offer
a special thank you
1609
01:21:37,434 --> 01:21:39,311
to the man who rescued Dan Marino,
1610
01:21:39,395 --> 01:21:41,647
and our beloved Snowflake,
1611
01:21:41,730 --> 01:21:43,816
a great humanitarian
1612
01:21:43,899 --> 01:21:45,651
and lover of all animals...
1613
01:21:45,734 --> 01:21:49,113
Mr. Ace Ventura!
1614
01:21:49,196 --> 01:21:50,697
[CROWD CHEERS]
1615
01:21:50,781 --> 01:21:52,908
MASCOT: Get--get off me!
1616
01:21:53,700 --> 01:21:55,244
Get off me!
1617
01:21:59,289 --> 01:22:02,709
ACE: Tone, put that big-ass size 13 on
1618
01:22:02,793 --> 01:22:04,545
and kick it for the homies.
1619
01:22:04,628 --> 01:22:06,505
[ROCK MUSIC]
1620
01:22:21,186 --> 01:22:23,063
[GUTTURAL YELLING]
1621
01:22:32,322 --> 01:22:35,367
ACE: Just callin' my dog, man.
1622
01:22:37,703 --> 01:22:39,621
♪ Tricks are for kids
And men are for tricks ♪
1623
01:22:39,705 --> 01:22:42,124
♪ Ace, he's the number one
Pet dick ♪
1624
01:22:42,207 --> 01:22:43,417
♪ No need for a fireman ♪
1625
01:22:43,500 --> 01:22:44,960
♪ When your cat's up a tree ♪
1626
01:22:45,043 --> 01:22:46,670
♪ He's the one that you hire, man ♪
1627
01:22:46,753 --> 01:22:47,963
♪ Known to bring 'em back alive ♪
1628
01:22:48,046 --> 01:22:49,173
♪ If your cat's scratched ♪
1629
01:22:49,256 --> 01:22:50,674
♪ Or your turkey got jive ♪
1630
01:22:50,757 --> 01:22:53,135
♪ A little loco en la cabeza
But still got charm ♪
1631
01:22:53,218 --> 01:22:55,179
♪ Brought her back
To ol' MacDonald's farm ♪
1632
01:22:55,262 --> 01:22:57,264
♪ So, hey, diddle diddle,
What's laid in the park ♪
1633
01:22:57,347 --> 01:22:59,183
♪ Chasin' more pets than
Noah on his ark ♪
1634
01:22:59,266 --> 01:23:01,477
♪ No need for a paint
if numbers get deleted ♪
1635
01:23:01,560 --> 01:23:03,479
♪ Ace on the case
And the job is completed ♪
1636
01:23:03,562 --> 01:23:05,772
♪ Simple as Simon
When I start rhymin' ♪
1637
01:23:05,856 --> 01:23:07,816
♪ always tell the truth,
so you know I'm not lyin' ♪
1638
01:23:07,900 --> 01:23:12,112
♪ Down with the ladies
As a lover, undercover ♪
1639
01:23:12,196 --> 01:23:14,490
♪ Yo, tell them where he's at,
my brothers ♪
1640
01:23:14,573 --> 01:23:16,533
♪ Yo, Ace is in the house ♪
1641
01:23:18,577 --> 01:23:20,662
♪ Yo, Ace is in the house ♪
1642
01:23:20,746 --> 01:23:22,831
♪ Yo, tell them where Ace is at ♪
1643
01:23:22,915 --> 01:23:24,875
♪ Yo, Ace is in the house ♪
1644
01:23:24,958 --> 01:23:27,211
♪ Uh, I don't believe they heard you ♪
1645
01:23:27,294 --> 01:23:28,837
♪ Yo, Ace is in the house ♪
1646
01:23:28,921 --> 01:23:31,507
♪ Is he all up in the house? ♪
1647
01:23:31,590 --> 01:23:33,467
♪ Yo, Ace is in the house ♪
1648
01:23:35,427 --> 01:23:37,596
♪ Yo, Ace is in the house ♪
1649
01:23:39,765 --> 01:23:41,600
♪ Yo, Ace is in the house ♪
1650
01:23:43,435 --> 01:23:44,937
♪ Yo, Ace is in the house ♪
1651
01:23:45,020 --> 01:23:47,606
♪ Well, if Ace is in the house,
so must be Loc ♪
1652
01:23:47,689 --> 01:23:49,525
♪ Blowin' up like a cloud of smoke ♪
1653
01:23:49,608 --> 01:23:51,652
♪ Checkin' all of his bitches at home ♪
1654
01:23:51,735 --> 01:23:53,862
♪ But I'm the dog with the biggest bone ♪
1655
01:23:53,946 --> 01:23:56,657
♪ I grip the mic like pliers,
No one's flyer ♪
1656
01:23:56,740 --> 01:23:58,283
♪ Yo, Ace is for hire ♪
1657
01:23:58,367 --> 01:24:00,202
♪ A floor room showpiece ♪
1658
01:24:00,285 --> 01:24:02,329
♪ Solvin' more crimes
than the hot damn police ♪
1659
01:24:02,412 --> 01:24:04,248
♪ Tryin' to do it legal ♪
1660
01:24:04,331 --> 01:24:06,625
♪ Lookin' for a dolphin,
Beatin' on an eagle ♪
1661
01:24:06,708 --> 01:24:08,502
♪ Nothin' ever planned ♪
1662
01:24:08,585 --> 01:24:10,963
♪ Ace got the face
Of a helpful detective man ♪
1663
01:24:11,046 --> 01:24:12,714
♪ Crazy like Harpo ♪
1664
01:24:12,798 --> 01:24:15,217
♪ Busted out windows
In his Monte Carlo ♪
1665
01:24:15,300 --> 01:24:17,010
♪ Loud clothes, black boots ♪
1666
01:24:17,094 --> 01:24:19,221
♪ Dutched-out hair,
No time for a suit ♪
1667
01:24:19,304 --> 01:24:21,890
♪ But I don't give a damn
if he's way out ♪
1668
01:24:21,974 --> 01:24:24,434
♪ Yo, tell them who's in the house ♪
1669
01:24:25,978 --> 01:24:27,896
♪ Yo, Ace is in the house ♪
1670
01:24:27,980 --> 01:24:30,232
♪ I don't believe they heard ya ♪
1671
01:24:30,315 --> 01:24:32,234
♪ Yo, Ace is in the house ♪
1672
01:24:32,317 --> 01:24:34,570
♪ Yo, tell 'em one more time ♪
1673
01:24:34,653 --> 01:24:36,697
♪ Yo, Ace is in the house ♪
1674
01:24:36,780 --> 01:24:38,740
♪ Tell them who's in the house ♪
1675
01:24:38,824 --> 01:24:40,576
♪ Yo, Ace is in the house ♪
1676
01:24:40,659 --> 01:24:42,744
♪ I don't believe they heard you ♪
1677
01:24:42,828 --> 01:24:44,746
♪ Yo, Ace is in the house ♪
1678
01:24:44,830 --> 01:24:47,082
♪ Is he runnin' thangs? ♪
1679
01:24:47,165 --> 01:24:49,084
♪ Yo, Ace is in the house ♪
1680
01:24:49,167 --> 01:24:51,086
♪ Is he doin' thangs? ♪
1681
01:24:51,169 --> 01:24:53,338
♪ Yo, Ace is in the house ♪
1682
01:24:53,422 --> 01:24:55,299
♪ To the west side tribe ♪
1683
01:24:57,593 --> 01:24:59,928
♪ Tell 'em who's in the house ♪
1684
01:25:01,096 --> 01:25:02,931
♪ Ace is in the house ♪
1685
01:25:04,600 --> 01:25:07,811
♪ I said Ace is in the house ♪
1686
01:25:08,895 --> 01:25:12,899
♪ I said Ace is in the house ♪
1687
01:25:12,983 --> 01:25:16,570
♪ I said Ace is in the house ♪
1688
01:25:16,653 --> 01:25:18,530
♪ Yo, Ace is in the house ♪
1689
01:25:20,907 --> 01:25:22,826
♪ Yo, Ace is in the house ♪
1690
01:25:25,078 --> 01:25:26,955
♪ Yo, Ace is in the house ♪
1691
01:25:29,249 --> 01:25:31,126
♪ Yo, Ace is in the house ♪
1692
01:25:33,545 --> 01:25:35,422
♪ Yo, Ace is in the house ♪
1693
01:25:37,758 --> 01:25:39,635
♪ Yo, Ace is in the house ♪